Monday, July 20, 2009

Day one of a SAHD experiment

Well, today marks A.'s first day back at work since Lucy was born 12 short weeks ago. Now it's daddy's turn. I have pretty awesome benefits through work that allow me 6 weeks of family leave. I took 3 of those right after Lucy was born and 1 when my parents drove out a few weeks ago. Now, I'm going to spend the final 2 weeks with Lucy before shipping her off to daycare. Just the two of us. Mono y mini-mono. All alone. Gulp.

All of this got me thinking about how society views stay-at-home-dads (SAHD) - though the acronym pretty much sums it up - and dad's in general. TV: daytime programming is mostly soaps and talk shows focused on women, while primetime gives us 6 Al Bundy's for every 1 Charles in Charge. Every parenting magazine and book: how to balance being a working mom and raising children. Those that mention dads usually do so in condescending ways. Basically, media is geared toward the traditional (i.e. 1950's) version of life, where daddy goes off to work briefcase in hand and comes home to a pot roast and gorgeous wife with gin & tonic in hand. Since the 1950's also promised us jetpacks and robot housekeepers, it shouldn't be surprising that the 'ideal' home life never transpired - though the latter are actually based in reality and exist in some form. As ridiculous as it is to assume that women should be the sole child raiser/house cleaner, etc., it's equally ridiculous to assume that men can't - or are less capable or unwilling. The irony, of course, is that the more society treats men as incapable parent the more guilt working moms feel as they drop the kids at daycare. Well played society! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a vegetarian-friendly pot roast to cook and G&T to mix.


  1. Really it's all about who has it worse: stay at home dads, stay at home moms, work from home moms, work away from home moms. You name it. Whoever bitches the loudest wins. EXCEPT for work away from home dads. They can never win :-)

  2. You mean "ribeye in the pan with butter" (Mad Men), right? And don't forget to "freshen up" before Allie gets home so she can feel relaxed when she sees how nice and neat her home is with dinner on the table and smiling cherubs. Hee!

  3. Thinking of you two during the day today--hope Lucy was a good girl and that you had some fun! Lots of love and good luck! Mimi