Wet 'N Wild

Lucy just scared the ever-loving crap out of me. I was on my hands and knees down in the basement, sopping up water that leaked out of the dehumidifier when I emptied it (every. freaking. time. with the leaking water - whussup, dehumidifier??).  It was half an hour or more since I had tucked the munchkins into their beds, and I was (am) alone - M. on an oh-so-convenient "business trip" or whatnot. FACT: He strolled around Burlington, VT and ate Ben and Jerry's ice cream tonight. Does this sound like a "business trip" to you?

Where was I?

Oh, right - I'm muttering to myself as I scrub the carpet and suddenly, out of absolutely nowhere, hear a voice right near my ear saying "I'm scared, Mommy." Oh, ho, ho! Who's scared now, little girl?!! Lucy had appeared, silently (why can't she be this quiet when *I* want her to be quiet?), right in front of me in her little wispy nightgown, like a creepy Victorian ghost.

I tucked her back into bed, and now I'm having a gin and tonic.

I'm doing my typical "M. is away, must be super mom/housekeeper/awesome person" that I sometimes do while he is gone.  I've cooked healthy meals. I've taken out the trash. I've bathed the children.  I've done laundry, and PUT IT AWAY (this never happens).  I've played catch with Finn, and taken them both to the special playground I never take them to because it's, in my mom eyes, too dangerous.  Also, our cleaning lady is coming tomorrow, so I spent a high percentage of Sunday and another hour or so tonight CLEANING ALL THE THINGS.  I should note that I would probably do this every time the cleaning lady comes, but this impulse is usually kept in check by M., who would prefer to NOT clean all the things in anticipation of her visit.

And by "clean," I really mean "throw things away."  This is something M. NEVER lets me do - the man is a hoarder, I swear. But since he's gone right now... Bwa ha ha ha!!  (evil laugh. Did that come off as an evil laugh?) I am 1000% certain that he will NEVER miss anything I've thrown away, and yet I know he would have stopped me from doing it.

Bottom line, the house looks nice.  It will cease to look nice by about 5:32 tomorrow evening, which is about 2 minutes after the kids and I will step through the front door.  But for now, it looks nice, and it pleases my soul.  My sister would make fun of me for this, right, Kristin?

One thing I am not doing as part of my crazy-lady-overachiever efforts is exercising.  That's because I'm limited to treadmill-running while M. is away, and my treadmill currently looks like this:

All folded up and moved to the middle of the family room.  Why?  Home owner suckery, is why.  Water in the basement!!!! Gah, what a nightmare! This is the same basement carpet that we had replaced less than two years ago when we had a freak water leak from our newly installed HVAC system (I don't think I blogged about this, as I can't find an old post to link to).  This time, the water was coming through the wall/ground of the house. The ground outside that wall is actually our neighbor's backyard (oh, the joys of townhouse living...) - we've had a lot of rain the last couple of weeks, and clearly it's not draining well.  THEY are not getting water in their basement, but WE are.

Last Tuesday-ish, on a day when there was much rain of the pouring kind, M. and I were turning lights out for the night around 11 pm when we discovered wet carpet beneath our feet over by the treadmill.  The same treadmill I had been running on earlier that night, obliviously.  It was too late to do anything about it that night (other than grump or stew), but the next day launched our "Oh f*ck, how do we deal with this?!" scrambling effort.  Which involves:

Step 1: Argue with husband, who thinks this is no big deal.
Step 2: Go to work. Google lots of things.
Step 3: Find convincing link that describes some stuff to do. Send to husband, who agrees that yes, actually, maybe something should be done. Even though the "something" involves scary-ish DIY stuff that we've never done before.
Step 4: Leave work early. Buy dehumidifier from Walmart. Go home, soak up some water with towels, assemble dehumidifier and turn on; also, aim fan at wet carpet. Pray.
Step 5: Let husband poke around in neighbors yard, where he discovers they have an in-ground drain/catch basin. Clearly someone's had water issues in the past.
Step 6: With much trepidation, pull up wall-to-wall carpeting in one corner of the room. Spy wet carpet padding, wet carpet, and gross, black-ish carpet tack strips.

Step 7: Cut away wet carpet pad, and pull up gross carpet tack strips that crumble at the slightest touch. Notice husband's sexy black socks and shorts.

Step 8: Scrub concrete with soapy water.

Step 9: Flatten out carpet. Run dehumidifier and fan continuously.

Step 10: When rain threatens, fold carpet back from wall again.  Notice that yes, water is still coming into the basement when it rains hard.  Poke around again in neighbors' yard.  Realize their drain is not draining.

Step 11: Make plans to install new drain for neighbors, who are clueless and can't be trusted to do it (Note, drain is not installed yet, what with the aforementioned business trip and all).

Step 12: While kids are rotting their brains with TV, spray a water/vinegar mixture on carpet, let sit for a few minutes, and scrub with dry cloths.  Sprinkle baking soda EVERYWHERE.  Let sit, then vacuum.  Gross musty smell? Gone.

The carpet looks and smells better:

But it's not fixed yet - still need to put down new carpet pad, and figure out how to install new tack strips and stretch the carpet over them. We may need to replace some of the molding, too. BUT, none of that is happening until we make sure we have this leaking water problem fixed.

Oh, to be a renter right now!

Any commiseration stories to make me feel better?

(Worry) Warts and All

I haven't posted anything of SUBSTANCE lately. Weekend activities and remodeling and photos aren't exactly deep subjects, I know. But they are EASY. I don't have to think about what to share, or struggle with wording. Some bloggers, they have this wonderful ability to capture the essence of life (the good and the bad) so perfectly with their words - it can be a bit daunting.

But I don't want to just share glossy events and photos that only scratch at the surface here; I want this site to reflect our lives. So fuck the intimidation of "writing" life - here are some of my thoughts on how things are going lately.

1. Finn. I worry about this kid EVERY DAY. I worry he isn't fitting in at school. He comes home with all these stories about how the other kids won't throw him the football when he plays with them, that his "best friend" from his class didn't pick him for something special, that our neighbor won't play with him, that other kids won't play with him... just about every day there is a new frustration for him to share. This extends beyond the social realm, to just about EVERYTHING - every time I ask Finn about how his day went, he has a complaint for me. He didn't get to play on the big playground today. He didn't get a chance to use the computers today. He was sad when M. dropped him off in the morning. He wanted to tie-dye a T-shirt at the after school care program but couldn't because Gah, Mom, YOU DIDN'T SEND IN A SHIRT FOR ME. This kid never has anything positive to say, EVER. And he can't be THAT unhappy - he isn't trying to convince me he needs to stay home from school, he's not acting depressed or really any differently than usual. He is just SUCH a complainer. I worry he is destined to be unhappy, because he WANTS to be unhappy. How do you teach a kid to focus on the good stuff in life, rather than the bad? Is this something he has learned from me?

On top of that, I worry that he isn't paying attention at school. Well, I KNOW he isn't paying attention that well at school, so mostly I worry about whether he ever WILL pay attention, or whether he has a lifetime of bad behavior reports coming his way. According to Finn's teacher he "needs a lot of redirection," and "sometimes Finn just does what Finn wants to do." SHE's not concerned, but I AM. She thinks he is just bored because they spend a lot of time setting the stage and reiterating rules at the beginning of the year, and that it will get better for him as things get more challenging. And he TELLS me that he thinks everything is boring, so maybe there's some truth to that. But I know him - there have always been things that interest him, and he pays attention/does what he's told because he WANTS to. And there are other things that interest him less, or times when he thinks he has a better idea of what to do. And that's when he does whatever he damn well pleases. And I don't think that is going to change (maybe ever? I write despairingly?). There will always be things that he doesn't want to do, or things that he REALLY wants to do even though he SHOULDN'T, and good luck to the grown-up that tries to get him to tow the line. It just doesn't happen. My child appears to be missing that "fear of authority/respect for people in positions of authority" character trait. There are other kids who have never gotten worse than a "green" on the behavior chart, or easily win a blue every day (this Kindergarten follows a blue-green-yellow-red behavior rating system, where blue is akin to "exceeded expectations", green is "good", yellow is "warning", and red is... I don't know what, but something bad). My kid has had a red, two yellows, and just one green this week alone (so far).

He probably will never be the child that gets a "blue" every day. And I think the problem is that I WANT him to be the child that gets a blue every day. I see it as a flaw that he can't. And that bothers me. Who wants to think of their child as flawed? Or unfixable?

Or maybe he doesn't need to be fixed, and this is all "normal." And I just worry too much.

But at least now you know what I'm worrying about.

2. Lucy. I don't have any worries about Lucy. She occasionally throws a fit, but is generally easily distracted from it. Her most annoying traits are: A. a reluctance to let me brush her hair, and B. her insistence that she wear "swirly" dresses and skirts every day (a "swirly" dress will billow out when she spins around). Which eliminates most of her adorable, fashionable wardrobe. She is three, but a fairly mild three.

Though sometimes I worry that she's getting the short end of the stick, because her brother ends up grabbing more of my mental attention (though not physical - I do still spend more time with her, because she still has some "Mommy" preferences).

3. Siblings. Another thing I don't have to worry about. My kids generally get along (with minor squabbles), and genuinely seem to enjoy each other's company. So much so that they have devised a plan to marry each other when they are older. It involves a mythical situation where Lucy will be in a line of girls looking to get married (at the mall, of course), and Finn is there, and secretly they will have arranged that Finn will pick HER for his bride. Because bachelorettes often line up at the mall and wait for potential suitors to propose, right? But SHHH, this is a secret plan, don't tell Finn and Lucy I told you.

We've gently tried explaining that brothers and sisters can't marry each other, but it hasn't gone over terribly well. We'll wait until their a bit older to tell them about the mal effects of inbreeding in genetic terms.

4. Fitness. Blah. This I worry about. I am not happy with either my fitness (as in, it is quite poor these days) or my weight. It is affecting some of my general happiness/positive outlook, and probably making me over-react in other areas of life (see: Finn, above). I'm bored with running, and haven't been doing it, but still eating like I am. It hasn't been good for the waistline. And I hate that it bothers me, but it does. So.

Hmmm. Pretty sure Finn comes by all his complaining honestly.

I'm just going to end it there, so I can spend a few moments focusing my attention on my beleaguered husband, who has to put up with all my worrying, which he does WELL.

Some Nights

I feel like I could post something ranty about how difficult it is to be a parent tonight. About how kids kind of suck, and working full time while parenting kind of sucks. About how each night feels like a sprint, and I'm not sure where the finish line is. About how my jaw has started hurting, because I've taken up clenching my teeth, I guess out of stress.

But I think it would lead to a lot of unwarranted navel-gazing. About my struggle with whether our family is truly fulfilled in this life that we have established - the go-go-go of EVERYTHING, the inability to take a deep breath, and throw schedules to the wind. I worry that I am letting the most precious years with my kids slip by in a haze of "No" and "We don't have time" and "But tomorrow is a SCHOOL DAY."

So let's not do that. Instead, let's talk about some things I'm enjoying, that I think you should enjoy too.

1) Perhaps you have hear the song "We Are Young" by fun.? Those of you that watch Glee will recognize it, at least. A great song that is currently getting plenty of radio play. But I urge you to check out fun.'s EVEN AWESOMER song "Some Nights" (ignore the somewhat cheesy video). You will not regret it, I promise. I guarantee you (and your kids) will not be able to sit still during it:

2) I just tried this recipe that I found on Pinterest, from the Kitchn, called "Roasted Eggplant Salad with Smoked Almonds and Goat Cheese." I didn't bother trying to serve it to the kids, but M. and I loved it. Not a low-cal recipe (calls for 1/3 cup of olive oil, for example - which, BTW, I reduced to less than 1/4 cup with no ill effects), but SO GOOD. Try it.

3) Yellow and Gray. My new favorite color combination. We renovated (a little) our half bathroom, painting it gray, with yellow accents (I hope to properly detail the process and outcome in its own blog post, one of these days). And I just bought this bedroom set during a Kohl's Flash Sale:

And now I'm on a "redecorating the master bedroom" kick, internet window-shopping for lamps and accent chairs and ways to refinish our crappy bedroom furniture. I'm thinking of bringing some teal in as a third color, and maybe some coral, too. Call me crazy.

4) Wine. Always helps after a long day. Too bad I don't have any in the house tonight :-(. Must fix that tomorrow.

I Swear I Don't Always Complain

1. I am coming to the realization that I'm going to have to say an early goodbye to a pair of my work shoes. They are Aerosoles' Envy shoes in black croco leather. Style- and comfort-wise, these shoes may indeed invoke Envy in others (OK, not the highly fashionable, perhaps, but some?). What won't, though, is the aroma that is currently wafting up from inside of them. Any tips on how to rescue stinky, stinky shoes? I have tried baby powder, but that just makes for a nauseating and confusing combination of baby powder and stink that is not the slightest bit masked. I am quite sad, because I've only had the shoes for several months, and even for my admittedly stink-prone feet, this seems like a rapid demise. Likely hastened by my predilection for wearing nice shoes without stockings in the summer because really, who wants to wear knee-highs in August?

2. I am currently sitting in a hotel room in Virginia, quite close to Dulles Airport, for a brief overnight work meeting. I have been looking forward to this for the last several days, as sleep has been hard to come by and oft interrupted lately. Tired does not begin to describe how I feel. However, I have been blessed with a neighbor who relishes in TV watching and phone conversations, and a room with little to no sound proofing between the "adjoining doors" feature of the room. Lest there be any confusion, I do not know my neighbor, and have no love for the standard hotel feature of room adjoinment. In addition to paranoia that someone will be able to break in to my hotel room through the door, I can now add "sound so unfiltered it provides one with the virtual experience of having a roommate" to my reasons for dislike of the room adjoinment set up.

3. I tried taking a bath to get a respite from neighbor noise, a treat I pretty much never, ever get at home. I was also hoping that it would keep me warm while I waited for the room to adjust to the thermostat temperature I set. Unfortunately, the tub is not a deep one, and rather than being warmed by it, I just became super conscious of each part of my body that was sticking up out of the warm water - my knees, my shoulders, my wrists and hands - I tried fitting as much of my body underwater as possible, but even for this shorty it was not possible to actually get warm. The bath was a short one.

4. Then I realized that I had forgotten to pack any pajamas. And I'm just not comfortable sleeping in the altogether, home, hotel room, or other. So, I'll be sleeping in the workout clothes that I've been lugging around with me to and from work for the last week and a half, but FORTUNATELY (though not for my health and physique) have not actually used yet.

The potential for a good night of rest is still unknown, but it's not looking good. Between stinky shoe smells (I may need to lock them up in my suitcase because I swear that I can smell them right now and they are like 15 feet away from me), noisy neighbors, adjusting room temperatures (I'm sure I will wake up - if I sleep - to find myself in an 80 degree room and a sweaty mess, though I shiver now), and the rustling that will happen every time I roll over in my high performance material workout clothes, I may have been better off staying at home and taking my chances with two kids, a cat, and an occasionally-snoring husband to interrupt my sleep.

By the way, did you know that there is apparently a key that you can press on a keyboard that will instantly publish your Blogger post when you are no where near done with it, forcing you to scramble to complete and edit the post that you meant to spend much more time perfecting? I should know, I've done it at least twice now. Sadly, I have no idea which key it is that performs this magic trick, I just know that it is somewhere on the righthand side of the keyboard. Bloggers, beware! Or at least, be better typers than I am!

Election Night Gumbo

OK, a few random housekeeping and rant-y items:

1. Regarding my search for meatless "meat" products - thank you all for your suggestions. I believe I am on my way to a solution, at least with regard to veggie sausage products. Just tonight I tried the Trader Joe's brand of Italian meatless sausages, and I was quite impressed. The texture was not rubbery, and the flavor was good. They look like complete yuck before cooking (really, really pale), but cooking them in a skillet with some oil gave them a nice color. All in all, I was quite happy with them - it's just unfortunate that I can only by them at Trader Joe's. I have also bought some TJ's meatless Chorizo to try out this week, and will likely check out the other suggestions as well. But my anxiety over this issue is already easing, thankfully. I still have no good solutions for the veggie hot dog problem, though...

2. Let's talk shoes for a moment. Specifically, toddler girl shoes. Oh my lord in heaven, are they freakin' expensive or what?!?! My little girl has been blessed with tiny, thick feet (with her 85% growth rate, this makes her look a bit like a Geisha girl - minus the blond hair of course - as she totters around on teeny feet). Extra wide shoes are just no where to be found, except online in two places: 1) Stride Rite - and they basically have sneakers only, one pair of which we have already purchased; and 2) Zappos.com - plenty of Mary Jane style shoes, some even available in the small size 4/5 Lucy sports, but they range in price from $36 (only those on sale) up to nearly $60. Gasp! I feel guilty spending that much on myself for shoes, and I usually wear shoes for at least 2 years (and some have been hanging on for way longer than that, grossly). Lucy's shoes last tops 4 months. Do you all really buy such expensive shoes for your kids? If not, what do you do instead? Anyone with experience buying extra wide toddler sizes? I plead for help before the holiday season is upon us!

3. My dieting was severely derailed this past weekend, and hasn't fully recovered yet. Which is so, so unfortunate, because after about 2 weeks of dieting I was down about 4 pounds. Now I'm pretty much back at my starting point (can we say YO-YO?). It began with a fundraiser buffet lunch at work - homemade macaroni and cheese, baked beans, desserts, nary a salad in sight... and no way to track calories without some serious effort on my part. I felt compelled to participate because a) it was for a good cause (to raise money to buy holiday gifts for military families in need); and b) M. refused to make my lunch the night before. The binging continued with birthday cake, take-out Thai food, Dunkin' Donuts, appetizers, wine, etc, etc - all in the name of entertaining our guests, but all of which I happily partook of. I'm having trouble getting back on track - the last two days I've started out counting my calories, but by noon I've slipped up and, out of guilt, ceased with the counting. I think part of my lack of will power for this is tied to a lack of exercise - I've only managed to jog about 4 times since my race, though one of those times was a 4 mile jog tonight, so hopefully that will help. I also need to start heading back to the gym during the work day a couple days a week to build up some muscle that will help me burn fat. Sigh.

4. This could fall under "Things That Annoy Me," but I forgot to include it in my list last week. And that is, apparently the Diaper Champ has been redesigned, and in my estimation, it makes for a much poorer diaper pail. Perhaps not the most interesting topic, but I feel that I must go public with this information. Now, we have used the Diaper Champ since Finn was brought home from the hospital, and we have always been very happy with it. First, you can use regular tall trash bags with it, no need to purchase some other wonky bag system. Second, it did a pretty good job keeping in the stink. Keep in mind that no diaper pail is perfect in this regard because toddler poop, it is some nasty smelly stuff. We have always viewed diaper pails as somewhat of a consumable, though - after a little while, an air freshener tucked in the bottom of the pail is necessary to keep the room stink-free. And eventually, it needs to be replaced, as no air freshener in the world is strong enought to contain the smell. I'd say after 4 years of diapers, we had 3 Diaper Champs. And we just bought our 4th two weeks ago. This time, though, it's... changed. First, it's smaller. And the top is different - and the way it has been redesigned basically means you can't throw a dirty diaper in it with one hand - you need two hands, one to open the lid and the other to throw in the stinky diaper you are holding. And worst of all, we christened the brand new DC with a poopy diaper at around 6 pm. By 11 pm that night (Lucy was night-waking at the time), I was ready to gag the moment I walked in her room. One day old, and already stinking! An air freshener has been deployed, and it's helping for the time being, but I fear that the day when we must abandon the Diaper Champ is coming soon. Perhaps this is incentive to potty train Lucy a little early? She already tells me when she has a poopy diaper, after all... (further proof that she is a genius, IMHO).

OK, enough for now. Must keep M. company as he hurls insults and incredulous snorts at the news coverage of the election night.

Things That Annoy Me Part 1

1. People Who Back Into Parking Spaces.
My thoughts on backing into parking spaces are these: The amount of time you "save" by pulling forward out of a spot when you leave the parking lot is completely obliterated by the extra time you spend parking in the first place. Plus, you are way, way more likely to park crappily (next-door-neighbor, I'm looking at you!), and be off-center between the white lines, probably making it difficult for some poor parent to get their heavy, squirmy, cranky child into or out of a carseat. And I think you are a show-off.

2. The Disappearance of My Favorite Meatless "Meat" Products.
Boca and Morningstar Farms, I'm looking directly at you!! Oh, my dismay at finding out that Boca Italian Sausages and Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs are both discontinued. Don't they realize how hard it is to find a decently-textured, good-tasting replacement meat product is?? Most of them are pure crap. And you don't discover this until you've spend $5 on a package, and forced your entire family to eat flavored rubber or something that falls apart with a mere glance for dinner. Please, please let me know what your recommendations are, if you have any. I have tried Tofurkey and Morningstar Farms Italian sausage (both crap), as well as several types of veggie dogs (can't remember which ones, which in itself is a clue that none of them were winners). Halp!

3. People Who Send You an E-mail Just to Respond With a "Thank You".
I'm going to 'fess up here and admit that my organizational skillz are not A-1, at home or at work. This includes my e-mail inboxes, both work and personal. In fact, I currently have 752 messages in my Outlook inbox, waiting to be deleted or filed (and in a few cases, answered, though I try to stay on top of that at least). My sent box is far, far worse (I practically never file that stuff). I feel, though, that I must partially blame our e-mail hungry culture. The massive strings of e-mail communications I get copied on, message after message, one person answering, then another, then another - it drowns me. And often times, all these people aren't really saying anything inherently different from the last person, so it's all just white noise. But the worst, worst offender is the "Thank you" e-mail. I'm all for niceties when someone goes out of their way for you, but this is my job. I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do, what I'm paid to do. If someone asks me for information by e-mail, and I provide it to them the same way, I declare now that I DO NOT NEED TO BE THANKED. PLEASE. Don't thank me. It's just one more e-mail I have to delete.

4. Dieting.
Oh, the hunger. It may be making me a smidgen cranky, hmm?

I'm not really sure where this post is going, but it clearly suggests I was Catholic in another life

My patience has been far too short lately. Is this what it's always like, raising an almost-four-year-old? When does the LISTENING start? When will my child actually take in something I say, think about it, and do what I FRACKIN' WANT HIM TO DO?!?!? I know, I know, it's the age. But it's not just the age, it's my reaction to this age's quirks and foibles and DIFFICULTIES. I yell. I pout and hold grudges. I even (and oh, I hate to admit this) spank on occasion. I do not BELIEVE in spanking. I think hitting your child (and oh yes, spanking is a type of hitting) only teaches THEM to hit. Not exactly what I want to encourage, you know? But yet, I have been so at my wits end that I HAVE DONE IT.

And I hate all of it. The yelling, the frustration, the repeating myself 15 times, the threats... the spanking.

I need a fresh start, a new approach. I need something more than "offer him choices" and "Have you read 1-2-3 Magic?" (Yes, I HAVE).

Tonight was a typical night, where trouble came from many minor areas that all served to push my mildly frustrated mood into a simmering, pouty, doom-and-gloom mood. Lucy was crying when I arrived to pick her up from daycare, and her teacher gave me the stink eye about her runny nose and cough. Finn was irate when I offered him yogurt-covered cranberries and chocolate-covered raisins as a snack, because WHERE ARE THE YOGURT-COVERED RAISINS? Lucy threw food during dinner, and Finn pulled a post-bedtime story poop fake-out to prolong his bedtime. Nothing out of the ordinary, but yet I couldn't help feeling inappropriately terrible.

As I picked up the house with M. (cleaning lady comes tomorrow), my simmering and seething began to focus on daycare. And I realized (tonight, at least) that it's not really the kids that were driving me crazy. It's my feeling (again) that we may not have them at the right daycare. The school is having a few staff changes - one teacher leaving, a shuffle to accommodate - and... I'm just not sure. I'm not sure I like the arrangements. I'm not sure these people are really qualified. And even if they are, I'm not sure I like that I'm even questioning whether they are qualified.

I plan to ask questions. I hope I like the answers, because there are many things I DO like about our daycare. But I'm getting tired of not feeling sure. Of feeling guilty.

As I thought even more about this though, I came to a second realization - that maybe guilt is the real culprit of my awful, no good, terrible evening. It's not the kids (even though it is), and it's not daycare (even though it is that, too). Mostly, I think my bad mood is coming from a conversation I had at work today. And the more I think about it, the more I have trouble believing that it actually occurred.

I was speaking to a group of women at work, all of us with kids of varying ages - some grown and struggling to find their way post-college, some starting grade school, and me with my little ones in daycare. The conversation was pleasant and nice and relatable and all the things you might think such a conversation would be among friendly women who get along. Then one woman told me a story that took me aback. She is recently back to work after taking several years off to raise her children. Her youngest child just started kindergarten last week, but she herself started back to work about 6 months ago. So during the late spring and summer, this woman enrolled her child in a preschool/daycare until kindergarten began. And one day, when she pulled up to daycare in her car, her daughter saw a baby being taken in to the school. She asked her mom what a baby was doing going to a preschool, and her mom told her that some women go back to work right after having a baby, and the daycare takes care of the babies for the mommies during the day. And her daughter replied, "Oh mommy, I'm so GLAD you stayed home with me, thank you!"

Now, I'm not begrudging this woman the appreciation she must have felt when her daughter said this. I'm sure it was very heartwarming for her. But this struck me as a very insensitive story to tell someone who did NOT stay home with her babies, who in fact still considers her children (or at least one of them) to be babies and IS NOT home with them. I have to admit, I felt a bit judged. OK, more than a bit judged, if I'm being honest; it stung.

Maybe I'm overly sensitive to this, as my mom stayed home with me, and M.'s mom stayed home with him. I feel like I SHOULD be with my kids, even if I CAN'T be with them, and to be honest, am not really sure I WANT to be with them all day.

So I obsess, and wonder constantly if I'm doing the right thing - pay the mortgage, or stay home with the kids? Buy stuff, or stay home with the kids? Clearly, for now, I've chosen to buy stuff and pay the mortgage. But then I wonder constantly about the care they get during those long, long days at daycare - at the quality of their stand-in mommies. And even though I yell and scold and threaten and even, occasionally, spank, I just can't convince myself that they measure up to ME.

Blah, blah... Sorry for the overly long, downer post. Quick, let me distract you with pictures of my adorable children (and husband)!

Really??

I was dumbfounded by an ad I saw in Parenting magazine last night. Which I only read because it was lying there and free - M. has a categorical hate for all parenting-type magazines because they portray dads in such a negative light, and I have to say I agree with him.

The ad? Apparently Enfamil is now making a formula called "RestFull" Lipil. Designed to help babies feel full longer and sleep better. How so, exactly? "Enfamil RestFull is specially designed to thicken gently in your baby's tummy, and digest slowly. For a natural way to keep your baby feeling satisfied. So you both can rest better." Yes, that last sentence is actually bolded in their ad.

This just drives me crazy. First of all, natural? I'm sure there's nothing natural at all about whatever is in that formula to cause it to "thicken gently" in baby's tummy. What exactly are they putting in there? Second, I see this as yet another weapon in the arsenal to get moms to give up breastfeeding. Oh, you're exhausted because baby is waking up two or three times a night? Just try giving them a bottle of our special formula and they'll sleep so much better. One bottle at night won't hurt... And third, exactly how many types of formula do we need on the market? Enfamil's website has 10 different infant formulas alone, and also offers a variety of supplements and toddler products. Some of the different types are a necessity, of course, like the ones for premature babies and babies with food intolerances. But many simply prey on parents' insecurities, promising better brain development and stronger immune systems. Or in this case, they're preying on parents' exhaustion, a universal in new parenthood. Could they try any harder to make money off of us?

Please don't think this post is designed to bash formula-feeding moms. I'm one of them. I'm also supportive of moms that mix breastmilk and formula feeding, because I used to be one of those, too. I just can't believe that Enfamil is going to convince moms and dads that babies who don't sleep well at night can be "fixed." Sleeping is a developmental process. Either your baby is ready to sleep 11 hours at a time, or he/she is not. Nothing you feed them will make a difference. And in all likelihood, this stuff will give them so much gas that they'll be sleeping worse than ever. Don't fall for it, dear readers!!

File Under Ridiculous

Or "This is What's Wrong With the Insurance Industry":

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,564501,00.html

A 4-month-old baby was denied health coverage for being too fat. TOO FAT. At 17 pounds, he is at 99% on the growth curve. Of course, maybe his parents are feeding him Snickers bars while he sleeps, so this is entirely reasonable. Oh, wait, nope, HE'S BREASTFED. Eats when he's hungry, until he's not hungry anymore. Like every other reasonable baby.

I could go on and on and on about how ridiculous I think this is. Or how an otherwise perfectly healthy baby with Downs Syndrome has never been able to get health coverage for having a "pre-existing condition."

This is just a little part of why genetics non-discrimination legislation and health care reform are needed. What that should look like, I don't know. But clearly needed!