Austerity!

M. and I are challenging ourselves to save as much money as we can, starting now. Good goal, right? But you're probably thinking "don't they do that already?" Well, we DO save money, that is true. We both contribute to our work-sponsored retirement accounts (plus I have pension accounts from my old employer and my current one, though your guess is as good as mine as to whether they'll actually pay out when the time comes), we put a little extra in a couple of IRA accounts each month, we contribute to college savings plans for both kids, and we have a set amount of money transferred to a savings account each month. Sounds pretty good, right?

But here's the thing. SOMETIMES, we have to pull money back out of that savings account to pay for things. Yeah, they're usually pretty big expenses, like HVAC systems or hardwood floors or yearly life insurance premiums. But still - it has been tough to really GROW that savings account, and our "liquid" savings really hasn't substantially increased ever since we bought our house back in 2007. And while that's OK for now, it crossed my mind recently that should we ever have a major life change, we're going to have to do better. We could get by for a while if one of us was laid off (says the chick who may be facing a furlough shortly), but things would be very tough after about 6 months. Hopefully we won't need to test that, of course. But we also need more money if we ever want to consider moving to a new house, be it here or somewhere else. Back when we bought our house, it was pretty easy to buy property with a 5% down payment (which is what we did), but obviously things are different now, and loans aren't as easy to come by. If (IF) we can ever sell our current house for anything close to what we owe on it, we will need to offer up 20% down on our next house. That's... a lot of money. Especially around here (or New England, where we would also consider living), and especially considering that we would be looking for an upgrade (i.e., no more townhouse!).

And the OTHER thing is that we really could be saving more, even putting aside the big-but-necessary purchases. We don't have a budget, really. We pay all our bills in full, on time, but we don't really watch our spending. We shop a lot. We eat out a lot. We eat out a lot, AND manage to spend $150-$220 on groceries every week. How is that possible? I have no idea. I don't even have teenagers yet, I still have fairly picky little kid eaters (though my god they can sock away a box of Nutrigrain bars in record time!). How we spend that much money on food is beyond me, but the fact is, we do, and then we spend probably another $100 each weekend on breakfast out, lunch out, coffee out... you get the picture.

So we are putting ourselves on a money diet, and the name of the game is "austerity!". Which is what M. and I mutter or shout to each other to help ourselves resist temptation when we're contemplating an expenditure. Looking for something to do on Saturday night and considering renting a movie through On Demand? Austerity! We watched Kingpin from our DVD collection instead. Thinking about getting a latte as we head in to the grocery store to bolster flagging energy and kid-arguing levels? Austerity! We passed. Even the kids have taken to shouting it randomly, though they don't REALLY know what it means. All they know is that it means we've changed the TV.

Because Austerity Measure #1 is:

1) Get rid of cable.

We've actually been thinking about doing this for some time. I am continually blown away by how expensive our cable/internet bill is - about $150/month (we spend the same amount on our cell phones, by the way, and all we pay for is one Blackberry with a data plan and one regular cell phone without a data plan, and no texting plans - how this adds up to $150, I have no idea - so at some point we'll be putting AT&T on the chopping block, too). We have Verizon Fios, and I can say that a) their internet is great, and b) their cable/On Demand service sucks. The interface is not user friendly, there are big lag times in working the remote, and about 50% of the time we try to watch something on On Demand, we end up having a technical difficulty of one sort or another and it doesn't work. Not a fan. Right now we have a bundle deal that costs us: $68 for cable, $37 for internet, $7 for a standard cable box (in our bedroom, we never use it), $12 for an HD box (in our living room, where the kids watch most of their TV), and $17 for an HD DVR box (in the basement family room, where M. and I watch most of our TV at night), and about $11 in taxes. Our new plan is:

1a) Keep Verizon internet, which (since it's no longer part of a bundle deal) will now cost us $85 plus tax, though we have a two year contract and some other 12-month discount that will lower it to $70 for a significant amount of time.
1b) Hulu Plus account for $8/month, which we can use to watch programming via our Wii system or on our laptops.
1c) Netflix account for $8/month, the one where you just get instant programming and not the DVDs mailed to your house. We can ALSO watch this through the Wii system or on our laptops.
1d) We moved the Wii system up to the living room for easy access to kiddie programming, which means we need something for the downstairs TV - so we have ordered a Roku box for a one-time cost of $70. This will let us watch Netflix and Hulu Plus on the "big TV."
1e) We already have an Amazon Prime membership, which we can apparently also stream through the Wii and Roku.

The total monthly cost will be $86 plus a few dollars of tax, so we'll say $92. Versus the $152 we were paying previously. The Roku box should pay for itself in less than two months.

The tricky thing will be getting used to these new systems. DVRs are SO convenient - everything is recorded in one place. We'll need to figure out which programming we need to watch through each system - kids' cartoons, older seasons of TV shows, and older movies on Netflix, some current shows on Hulu Plus, other current shows on Amazon Prime, and some that we'll just have to suck up and watch live via digital broadcasting (CBS, I'm looking at you!).

Plus, M. has to pretty much give up watching sports. Which TOTALLY stinks for him, and is probably the main reason we've been putting off making this change. And while I am known for being "less than enthusiastic" about sports and sports-viewing, know that this was NOT my idea. It was M.'s - he thinks he will be OK without the Big 10 network and ESPN. I'm not so sure.

Anyway, I'll report back after we've tried this out for a while, and let you know how it's going.

Obviously $50+ in savings on cable a month is not going to get us to our dream house. Other "Austerity!" measures we are taking include:

2) Curtailing eating out/carry out to approximately once a week. There will be times this won't work (for example, we have a couple of trips coming up where we need to eat on the road), but we will do our best (and also limit the times we DO eat out to places that are relatively inexpensive).

3) Limit Target trips to once a month. And go with a list. M. thinks we should become Walmart shoppers, but I don't know that I can go THAT far.

4) Stick to boxed wine and homebrewed beer. This will work for now, though when the weather gets a bit warmer I may need to look in to buying several bottles of a decent-but-cheap "house white" (since boxed white wine apparently hasn't progressed much beyond Almaden and Franzia in quality).

5) Try to keep the grocery bill down to around $125/week. This will be tougher now that we'll be having more meals at home, but I'm going to try my hand at cooking a few things in bulk to help keep costs down. This weekend I used the crockpot to make a big batch of marinara sauce and a HUGE batch of refried beans. I foresee a lot of spaghetti or beans & rice-type meals in our future, but I don't plan to skimp on fresh fruits/vegetables, so they'll be accompanied by some healthy stuff. And I'll still be buying a few organic things like milk, sliced cheese for the kids, and apples (they just look better than the non-organic). We'll see - this may be a moving target.

6) A general "buy less stuff" outlook. Kids are bored/we're bored? Go to the library instead of Barnes and Noble, where we always get suckered into buying new books (and often, Starbucks drinks!). Renew our National Zoo membership and go once a month instead of once every six months (and pack our own lunches!). This should get significantly easier as the weather gets warmer and we can do things like go to all the many nearby playgrounds or our neighborhood pool, which are FREE.

7) Avoid major/moderate house projects, for now. Instead, I'm hoping we can draw up a list of little no-/low-cost projects we can do to keep the house in good condition - touch up paint (needed EVERYWHERE, and we already own some, we just need to DO IT ALREADY), reorganizing/purging storage spaces, recaulking showers, deep cleaning grout, etc. We WILL do some gardening (my favorite part of spring) which will mean buying some flowers, and I would like to try my hand at refinishing one of the bathroom vanities to see how it goes. But nothing BIG, nothing EXPENSIVE (she says, inviting the house gods to kill an appliance or three).

There are a few things we won't be ditching in the name of "Austerity!" M. will still bring his shirts to the dry cleaner. We've tried saving by eliminating the dry cleaner before, and both of us HATE ironing a big ol' pile of shirts. So no. And I will continue to have our cleaning woman clean the house every other week because SANITY. And probably others, I'm sure, but hopefully this will get us closer to comfort, closer to our goals, closer to whatever comes next for us.

How about you? How do you save money? Any good ideas for us?

Queen of Corona

I taught the kids some of the words to "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard" recently. It was one of those things where I couldn't get it out of my head. I don't know why - I hadn't heard it recently. But there it was, in my head, so I sang it. I got maybe half the words right. The kids were intrigued. Mama Pajama? Did what? So of course I dug it up on iTunes, since I couldn't rely on my memory to get the words right, and played it for them a few times. Ever since then, Finn likes to call me "Mommy P-Jommy." "Mommy P-Jommy, you are the BEST mommy." He also likes to tell me that he loves me more than anyone. More than I love him. The most, ever. He's all elbows and knees and NOT cuddly, until he suddenly is, squeezed up against my side and kissing my cheek.

Lucy's love for me is not worshipful like her brother's. It's demanding. She is confident in her love for me, in my love for her. And so she demands, constantly, in booming, regal tones. Get me this! I want that! I CAN'T take my shoes off, YOU do it! She tests, and pushes, and aggravates, as three-year-olds should. She can drive us crazy, and turn around a second later and captivate us with a joke (her jokes are not funny, making them endearingly so), or a hug (she gives the absolute best hugs ever), or a sly sideways glance. She calls a wedgie a "woodgie," and it kills me, making me ignore that I'm about to strangle her because of her refusal to get dressed. She grabs my face and leans in uncomfortably close during a cuddle. She is open and unreserved and full of demanding love.

___________________

I learned late last week that a work colleague of mine had passed away. She was sick - we knew she was sick. But we also understood her to be recovering, to be doing much better. We thought she was coming back soon. I didn't think that I wouldn't see her again.

She was one of the warmest, friendliest, most unflappable people I have ever met. She always, always had a kind word for me, and for everyone else. She had a difficult job, and often had to work with strong personalities. Yet she had this calm peace about her all the time. In situations where I would have lost my temper, she didn't bat an eye.

You don't always know when it will be the last time you see someone.

I'm not trying to trot out sentiments like "live in the moment," or "appreciate what you have" here. Though we should, when we can, which is not the same as always. Instead, I think what I could do better here, and what my co-worker did so well, is to create more positive interactions. With my kids. With my work colleagues. With M. With the checker at the grocery store. Just leave a trail of positivity behind me, in front of me. Don't focus so much on the negative side, the hard parts, the things that don't work out.

Do more to earn the worshipful, demanding love Finn and Lucy have for me.

And, yeah, of course, savor those hugs. But I already do that ;-).

Things I Have Learned Over the Last Two Weeks

Roughly in the order of revelation:

One should not play Angry Birds on one's iPod when one is supposed to be making sure one's toddler does not fall off a step stool, or there may be blood.

The skin under one's lip is highly vascularized, and while it may bleed profusely if one's tooth bites through it, it will heal well without stitches.

Lucy is now able to handle car trips of up to 9 hours quite wonderfully (this would have been even better if one of our car trips hadn't lasted 10 and a half hours).

I don't know why I ever disrespected the idea of DVD players in cars. I apologize, I was wrong. This is a MUST HAVE. With two screens.

Life would be perfect if we could travel from house to house and provide our kids with other people's toys everyday. They would require very little supervision and interaction.

Both Finn and Lucy absolutely LOVE their baby cousin Josephine (JoJo).

Stink bugs in Massachusetts look different from stink bugs in Maryland. But both must die.

Next time we drive somewhere for Christmas, our gifts to the kids will not come with us. We will open them at home first.

On a related note, there is no reason to give each child ~4 gifts from us, when Santa, two sets of grandparents, and various aunts and uncles will also be giving gifts. TOO MUCH STUFF.

It is quite challenging to schedule, coordinate and capture a professional picture of a family with a pre-schooler, 4 toddlers, and an infant. But it can be done.

If you weigh an SUV down with enough luggage and gifts, it can drive through a blizzard even without four-wheel drive.

Also, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts is much, much better at clearing roads than the state of Maryland. It would be beneficial to arrange for some kind of exchange program to spread the knowledge.

It is really, really hard to parent when said parent has succumbed to a debilitating toddler-generated illness of some sort. Particularly when the partnering parent is in the same boat.

It is wonderful to be around family, even when it is loud and crazy and driving ME crazy.

A few pictures - note that there are many, many more, but I had to stop somewhere. Also, I swear M. was in attendance during our vacation, despite his lack of appearance in most of these photos. Click any or all of these to make bigger:

What it looks like when a toddler has devoured a Friendly's Conehead Sundae

M. assisted Penny and Lucy in playing dress up a couple of days before Christmas

Lucy and Penny lounge on the couch, ready for Christmas Eve to get on with it already

Ned and Finn play with the Polar Express model train my mom and brother set up all around the Christmas tree and through present "tunnels"

Ned and Finn model Christmas PJs

Baby JoJo love from both of my kids


Lucy was sick for most of our trip, and spent a lot of time looking pathetic like this (she is very good at looking pathetic):

Waiting outside the closed family room doors to see if Santa had come (the same way my siblings and I did when we were kids)

Finn was super excited to get his very first "shooting gun" (gee, thanks, Santa)

More Baby JoJo love

Well, someone has a little snowball, doesn't he? About 10 seconds after this picture, he was crying because he shoved the whole thing in his mouth and froze his teeth

One of the proofs from the big family picture photo shoot photo by Keith Quenzel

Resting up for our big car ride home

Home, and finally, relatively healthy (Note that these photos in no way capture how desperately ill most of us - knock wood, with the exception of Finn - have been)