Monday, July 18, 2011

So Four is Not the Age When the Ability to Understand Sarcasm is Developed

I made Finn cry yesterday. Like, heaving sobs.

It went down like this. There were shenanigans of the super annoying type going on, from both kids. The likes of which I probably don't really have to describe, as I'm sure anyone who has ever spent time with young children is fairly familiar with things like: "I hate grocery shopping! I won't get my shoes on! I won't walk toward the front door and the waiting car, I'll instead throw this toy around dangerously and pretend like I can't hear you! Oh, we're in the car and on our way to the store? Well, I'm thirsty! I need water! Now!"

Not direct quotes, PER SE, but you get the gist. It was, suffice it to say, SUPER annoying and frustrating. M. and I were both giving as much crab as we got, to convey said annoyance and frustration. In the process I told the kids (and this is a direct quote), "I give up. We're giving you back. We're not going to be your parents anymore."

The irony (?)(not entirely sure I can correctly identify all instances of irony, even at the advanced age of 34) is that we CAN'T give them back. I don't think my uterus would be very happy about that, among other reasons. We made 'em, we're stuck with 'em.

M. shared a look with me that was along the lines of "Word." Lucy continued to demand water from the backseat, oblivious. But Finn, well, he took this QUITE seriously. I heard some sniffles, looked behind me, and saw his face crumple in despair. Big fat tears started rolling down his face, and in no time at all he was sobbing. He doesn't WANT us to not be his parents anymore. He doesn't WANT someone else to be his parents. We are so MEAN. Why would we say something so MEAN to him?

I felt immediate remorse, of course. Finn "cries" occasionally - the kind of crying that is more for show because he's not getting something he wants, like a toy or TV privileges. It's quite loud, but short lived and tearless. I can tell he has complete control over it and doesn't really "mean" it. But this was different. He was truly upset. I guess because he really loves us or something.

We stopped at Starbucks and bought him some damn water. And chocolate milk.


  1. Is it wrong that I am literally laughing out loud at this? I have dreamed of saying that to my children sometimes (like Friday, one puking, one whining me to death).

  2. Pure awesomeness. You help me keep parenting in perspective. And I'm pretty sure Mom said the same thing many, many times. And we turned out fine....and still love her :-)