98% Of Babies Manic-Depressive

Given the baby boom that has hit A. and her sisters Mommy Esq. and SBHGIGO, it seems appropriate to share the following 'news' article that I found while reading The Onion. I think most parents will agree that the results of the mentioned study are incredibly accurate. Left unmentioned was a follow-up study that addresses couples who exhibit mass delusion and memory loss when reminiscing about the final weeks of pregnancy and the first few months at home with the baby. In some cases, these mental lapses have been shown to lead to 'let's-have-another' syndrome, followed by a permanent loss of golfing privileges. Enjoy!


98% Of Babies Manic-Depressive
March 23, 2009 Issue 45•13
NEW YORK—A new study published in The Journal Of Pediatric Medicine found that a shocking 98 percent of all infants suffer from bipolar disorder. "The majority of our subjects, regardless of size, sex, or race, exhibited extreme mood swings, often crying one minute and then giggling playfully the next," the study's author Dr. Steven Gregory told reporters. "Additionally we found that most babies had trouble concentrating during the day, often struggled to sleep at night, and could not be counted on to take care of themselves—all classic symptoms of manic depression." Gregory added that nearly 100 percent of infants appear to suffer from the poor motor skills and impaired speech associated with Parkinson's disease.