I'm behind on my photo posting, I know, I know. They will come, as soon as I rouse my lazy behind to edit the rest of them. In the meantime, here are some things:
1) This past weekend was a flurry of house projects that required the kids to "entertain themselves" (aka complain and mess shit up), back-to-school shopping, laundry, and pool time. By the end of the day Sunday, the house was a disaster. M. and I agreed that night that it was a damn good thing that it was not a "cleaning lady" week, because there is no way we could get the house in order by Tuesday morning.
Except we were all screwed up from being on vacation, and it apparently WAS a cleaning lady week. OOPS! Now she knows how we really live. So embarrassing. Also, the poor thing cleaned up so many of our messes, and we didn't even leave her a check. I feel terrible. But I'm also completely surprised that this is the first time in over 4 years that we have made this mistake. So, bright side?
2) In a growing panic over the thought of not watching a lick of football this season, M. went out and bought a new antenna to try - something designed for the military, apparently. This thing. We now have over 20 broadcasted stations on our basement TV (where we do all our evening TV watching), including FOX, NBC, CBS, and ABC. And also a bunch of crappy other stations. M. is watching a Ravens game as I type (blergh), and I'm thrilled at the prospect of actually watching The Good Wife and How I Met Your Mother in decent quality (streaming to the TV from a computer just isn't that good). He may not catch much of his beloved Badgers this year, but at least we can now watch the Super Bowl.
3) If they gave out degrees in "getting the last drop of wine out of the wine box," I would be at the top of the class.
4) I'm seeing a podiatrist right now. God, doesn't that make me seem old? I FEEL old. I even have orthotics I'm supposed to wear. That doesn't fly with cute dress shoes, though - I can't seem to fit them in my most of my existing shoes without entering severe blister territory. You don't even want to know the kinds of desperate Google searches I've been doing lately - "orthotics for heels," "orthotics for dress shoes," "dress shoes with removable inserts," "orthotic shoes," "shoes with arch support,"... it's so depressing. God I'm so old. I have plantar fasciitis, which Dr. Google told me, and then my podiatrist confirmed. Score one for Dr. Google! Anyway, it's depressing because I haven't been able to run much at all without at least 24 hours of intense pain afterward. But I think it's getting better? My mom bought me this foot stretcher thing, which seems to be helping. That's how you get rid of it, by the way (though you're always at risk for it coming back) - by stretching the crap out of your calves and feet. I can now say my left foot is LIMBER - sexy, no?
By the way, my podiatrist's name is Dr. Footer. Reminds me of how the anesthesiologist that administered my epidural when Finn was born was named Dr. Payne.
I can't even make this stuff up.
5) I did squeeze in a short jog two nights ago, and decided that this is my new favorite running song:
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis's "Can't Hold Us."
Finn introduced us to the song, and knows far more of the words than we do. It's ridiculously adorable to watch him singing it.
Lucy's favorite song right now is this one (we downloaded the clean version to our iTunes library):
Icona Pop's "I Love It" - also a super catchy, good-for-running song.
6) Tomorrow marks the end of my "Furlough Fridays." In good news for my paycheck and bad news for all my PLANS, the DoD decided to cut short the civilian furlough, from 11 days to 6. I had so many things I was going to do with that time! But also, I was feeling so broke! So this is really for the best, and I do think that I made the most of my furlough days. Even though too much of it was spend scrubbing grout (because any grout scrubbing is too much).
Anyway, in celebration of the last furlough day (and because he's been working so hard lately), M. is taking tomorrow off, too, and we're going to spend it together. We are heading in to D.C. for lunch and a visit to the National Portrait Gallery, where my friend Jen's work is part of an exhibit - she won second place in a national portrait competition! I'm so excited to see it, and to have a grown-up day with M. while the kids are at daycare...
7) ...where they will be showing off "their" science project. And by their, I mean the one they helped with a little bit. Or a tinsy bit, as the kids are fond of saying. A study on different conditions that grow mold on bread. Mostly conceived and executed by yours truly and M., in exactly the kind of dick parent's move that I hate. But who are we kidding - when prompted for Ideas, Finn suggested some really complicated thing, as always, and Lucy studiously ignored us. So instead, the bread mold project. And as I type, there are 9 baggies of moldy bread affixed to a piece of poster board up on my living room couch.
Ah, learning.
Showing posts with label daycare. Show all posts
Showing posts with label daycare. Show all posts
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Sunday, August 26, 2012
A First and a Last
Friday marked Finn's very last day of daycare. I didn't get choked up the way I thought I might - perhaps because I'll still be coming back every day to bring Lucy. And Finn - well, all he could think about was how excited he is to start Kindergarten - I had to prompt him several times to "SAY GOODBYE" and "LOOK, THESE PEOPLE HAVE CARED FOR YOU FOR THREE+ YEARS, COULD YOU PLEASE JUST GIVE SOMEONE A HUG?!" But I wasn't really upset - his excitement for Monday is gratifying, especially when I saw one little girl start sobbing at the prospect of lining up in front of the classroom door to go inside the school during Friday's Open House. Even though her mom was RIGHT THERE, and had no intention of leaving. I think several kids are going to have a tough Monday, but I'm pretty confident that my little guy is going to bound right into the school. It helps that Finn's teacher is one of the two that ran his earlier JumpStart program, so he already knows her pretty well. Also, his favorite little friend from JumpStart has been placed in the same class, so he already has at least one friend.
I do think that once Finn truly realizes that he won't be seeing the handful of really good daycare friends he's made over the years every day, he will get a little sad. But that aspect of Kindergarten hasn't really sunk in yet.
How about a little "before and after?" Not the hardwood floor photos I owe you (I have them! They will be posted!), but photos of Finn:
On his very first day of daycare, December 18, 2006:
And here he is on his very last day of daycare, August 24, 2012:
I do think that once Finn truly realizes that he won't be seeing the handful of really good daycare friends he's made over the years every day, he will get a little sad. But that aspect of Kindergarten hasn't really sunk in yet.
How about a little "before and after?" Not the hardwood floor photos I owe you (I have them! They will be posted!), but photos of Finn:
On his very first day of daycare, December 18, 2006:
And here he is on his very last day of daycare, August 24, 2012:
I will restrain myself from gushing about those eyes! Those cute cheeks! Can you believe that little teeny baby grew into this energetic, fun, funny, smart boy?!? Of course, that's what's SUPPOSED to happen, I KNOW that. Well done, nature. You've done a great job so far with this whole "growing up" thing.
So those pictures mark a "first" and "last" for Finn (and you can bet that the traditional "first day of school" photo will be shared here, too, once it has been captured). Now here is a photo of a "first" for Lucy:
Her first dance class!:
Sorry for the not-so-great pictures - Lucy was NOT in the mood to pose prior to heading out to her lesson. And I couldn't get any photos of her during class, as parents aren't allowed in the studio - we all sit out in the lobby and watch what is going on in the studio via a video monitor.
Lucy's class covers both ballet and tap. Is it ridiculous to buy tap shoes for a three-year-old? Maybe. But my heart is not-so-secretly thrilled that Lu is developing a love of dance - I took lessons for about 10 years LONG, long ago, and have fond memories of jetes and changemonts and pirouettes and shuffle-ball-changes... (and I'm sure I just spelled most of that wrong). Anyway, you get the picture. I think she looks adorable, and I am glad that we finally have a chance to concentrate on doing something that LUCY wants to do. Usually she just gets signed up for whatever activity Finn wants to do or, even worse, she just schleps around with us and watches Finn do an activity on his own.
You can get a sense in some of those pictures of how the hardwood floors turned out, but I will be back with a proper before and after post once we are done with Phase II of the project (did I mention there is a Phase II?), in which new tile is being installed on the kitchen floor. Which SHOULD be this week (I fervently hope, as currently my pantry is spread out over several chairs in the dining room, which doesn't exactly facilitate quick meal preparation. Not to mention the thick layer of dust coating all surfaces everywhere).
But first, I need to get myself to bed so I can be well rested for the parental heartbreak I am about to experience tomorrow. KINDERGARTEN - THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE, RIGHT?
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Green FTW!
Hello from a decidedly more relaxed, less panicky state of mind. That last post was, as advertised, a vent, and it did it's job - helped me get all my angst out so I could start the next day with a fresher attitude. But thank you everyone for the reassurance and kind comments. We are all doing well, and things are looking up - we've just had a wonderful weekend, and take a little look at Finn's behavior chart for the week:
Started off quite poor (hence the vent), but finished with lots of green circles all around! We are tracking the color he gets when he's at school, and then also giving him another circle depending on his behavior at home after school (on the weekends, we just kind of divide the day in half). That's why he has two circles for every day - we are trying to reinforce the school's system (and encourage good behavior at home, of course). Finn has been insisting and insisting and insisting that he CANNOT get a green circle - the best he would try for is a yellow (yes, there are yellow circles, too, for the "so-so" crowd). Hopefully the latter part of this week has convinced him that he can, indeed, behave well enough to get a green circle. And it's given us lots of opportunity for positive reinforcement.
Not sure if this is coincidence or not, but the green circles made their appearance the same day that I called the daycare director and asked her for some suggestions on how to deal with Finn's napping abhorration. For now, Finn's teacher is going to let him look at books on his mat while the other kids sleep. This is a bit tricky, as it's possible the other kids will see him doing this, and try to get out of napping, too. And there is still potential for Finn to create a ruckus, as he doesn't necessarily have the attention span to flip through books for a couple of hours, what with his inability to actually read yet, his innate desire to be active as many hours of the day as possible, etc. But it's an improvement, I think, and when the center's summer camp opens in three weeks, he'll be able to go hang out with the camp kids during nap time, avoiding the situation entirely.
Then we just have to figure out how to deal with nap time once again when summer is over. But we are thinking of moving daycare centers by the fall, anyway (for several reasons, several of which are logistical and meant to set us up for the next year when he attends kindergarten), so who knows what the situation will be by then.
M. is out of town for the next couple of days, and I need to get myself to sleep so I can power through the morning rush without him. I'll wrap this up with a few new photos - good night!
Finn was wearing boxer briefs last weekend, so he had M. wrap his hands with blankets to look like boxing gloves.
And then he boxed.
We went to an event at the NASA Goddard center last weekend, and had to park and take a shuttle to the campus. The shuttle was a school bus, and it was Finn's second time on a school bus - but he doesn't remember the first. So he was very excited.
The outing took place right after swim lessons and during nap time. So Lucy slept (on me) through her first bus ride. She was pretty confused when she woke up after the drop off. But she did manage to stay awake during the return trip.
The next few pictures were taken yesterday:
Started off quite poor (hence the vent), but finished with lots of green circles all around! We are tracking the color he gets when he's at school, and then also giving him another circle depending on his behavior at home after school (on the weekends, we just kind of divide the day in half). That's why he has two circles for every day - we are trying to reinforce the school's system (and encourage good behavior at home, of course). Finn has been insisting and insisting and insisting that he CANNOT get a green circle - the best he would try for is a yellow (yes, there are yellow circles, too, for the "so-so" crowd). Hopefully the latter part of this week has convinced him that he can, indeed, behave well enough to get a green circle. And it's given us lots of opportunity for positive reinforcement.Not sure if this is coincidence or not, but the green circles made their appearance the same day that I called the daycare director and asked her for some suggestions on how to deal with Finn's napping abhorration. For now, Finn's teacher is going to let him look at books on his mat while the other kids sleep. This is a bit tricky, as it's possible the other kids will see him doing this, and try to get out of napping, too. And there is still potential for Finn to create a ruckus, as he doesn't necessarily have the attention span to flip through books for a couple of hours, what with his inability to actually read yet, his innate desire to be active as many hours of the day as possible, etc. But it's an improvement, I think, and when the center's summer camp opens in three weeks, he'll be able to go hang out with the camp kids during nap time, avoiding the situation entirely.
Then we just have to figure out how to deal with nap time once again when summer is over. But we are thinking of moving daycare centers by the fall, anyway (for several reasons, several of which are logistical and meant to set us up for the next year when he attends kindergarten), so who knows what the situation will be by then.
M. is out of town for the next couple of days, and I need to get myself to sleep so I can power through the morning rush without him. I'll wrap this up with a few new photos - good night!
Finn was wearing boxer briefs last weekend, so he had M. wrap his hands with blankets to look like boxing gloves.
And then he boxed.
We went to an event at the NASA Goddard center last weekend, and had to park and take a shuttle to the campus. The shuttle was a school bus, and it was Finn's second time on a school bus - but he doesn't remember the first. So he was very excited.
The outing took place right after swim lessons and during nap time. So Lucy slept (on me) through her first bus ride. She was pretty confused when she woke up after the drop off. But she did manage to stay awake during the return trip.The next few pictures were taken yesterday:
Monday, August 30, 2010
I'm not really sure where this post is going, but it clearly suggests I was Catholic in another life
My patience has been far too short lately. Is this what it's always like, raising an almost-four-year-old? When does the LISTENING start? When will my child actually take in something I say, think about it, and do what I FRACKIN' WANT HIM TO DO?!?!? I know, I know, it's the age. But it's not just the age, it's my reaction to this age's quirks and foibles and DIFFICULTIES. I yell. I pout and hold grudges. I even (and oh, I hate to admit this) spank on occasion. I do not BELIEVE in spanking. I think hitting your child (and oh yes, spanking is a type of hitting) only teaches THEM to hit. Not exactly what I want to encourage, you know? But yet, I have been so at my wits end that I HAVE DONE IT.
And I hate all of it. The yelling, the frustration, the repeating myself 15 times, the threats... the spanking.
I need a fresh start, a new approach. I need something more than "offer him choices" and "Have you read 1-2-3 Magic?" (Yes, I HAVE).
Tonight was a typical night, where trouble came from many minor areas that all served to push my mildly frustrated mood into a simmering, pouty, doom-and-gloom mood. Lucy was crying when I arrived to pick her up from daycare, and her teacher gave me the stink eye about her runny nose and cough. Finn was irate when I offered him yogurt-covered cranberries and chocolate-covered raisins as a snack, because WHERE ARE THE YOGURT-COVERED RAISINS? Lucy threw food during dinner, and Finn pulled a post-bedtime story poop fake-out to prolong his bedtime. Nothing out of the ordinary, but yet I couldn't help feeling inappropriately terrible.
As I picked up the house with M. (cleaning lady comes tomorrow), my simmering and seething began to focus on daycare. And I realized (tonight, at least) that it's not really the kids that were driving me crazy. It's my feeling (again) that we may not have them at the right daycare. The school is having a few staff changes - one teacher leaving, a shuffle to accommodate - and... I'm just not sure. I'm not sure I like the arrangements. I'm not sure these people are really qualified. And even if they are, I'm not sure I like that I'm even questioning whether they are qualified.
I plan to ask questions. I hope I like the answers, because there are many things I DO like about our daycare. But I'm getting tired of not feeling sure. Of feeling guilty.
As I thought even more about this though, I came to a second realization - that maybe guilt is the real culprit of my awful, no good, terrible evening. It's not the kids (even though it is), and it's not daycare (even though it is that, too). Mostly, I think my bad mood is coming from a conversation I had at work today. And the more I think about it, the more I have trouble believing that it actually occurred.
I was speaking to a group of women at work, all of us with kids of varying ages - some grown and struggling to find their way post-college, some starting grade school, and me with my little ones in daycare. The conversation was pleasant and nice and relatable and all the things you might think such a conversation would be among friendly women who get along. Then one woman told me a story that took me aback. She is recently back to work after taking several years off to raise her children. Her youngest child just started kindergarten last week, but she herself started back to work about 6 months ago. So during the late spring and summer, this woman enrolled her child in a preschool/daycare until kindergarten began. And one day, when she pulled up to daycare in her car, her daughter saw a baby being taken in to the school. She asked her mom what a baby was doing going to a preschool, and her mom told her that some women go back to work right after having a baby, and the daycare takes care of the babies for the mommies during the day. And her daughter replied, "Oh mommy, I'm so GLAD you stayed home with me, thank you!"
Now, I'm not begrudging this woman the appreciation she must have felt when her daughter said this. I'm sure it was very heartwarming for her. But this struck me as a very insensitive story to tell someone who did NOT stay home with her babies, who in fact still considers her children (or at least one of them) to be babies and IS NOT home with them. I have to admit, I felt a bit judged. OK, more than a bit judged, if I'm being honest; it stung.
Maybe I'm overly sensitive to this, as my mom stayed home with me, and M.'s mom stayed home with him. I feel like I SHOULD be with my kids, even if I CAN'T be with them, and to be honest, am not really sure I WANT to be with them all day.
So I obsess, and wonder constantly if I'm doing the right thing - pay the mortgage, or stay home with the kids? Buy stuff, or stay home with the kids? Clearly, for now, I've chosen to buy stuff and pay the mortgage. But then I wonder constantly about the care they get during those long, long days at daycare - at the quality of their stand-in mommies. And even though I yell and scold and threaten and even, occasionally, spank, I just can't convince myself that they measure up to ME.
Blah, blah... Sorry for the overly long, downer post. Quick, let me distract you with pictures of my adorable children (and husband)!
And I hate all of it. The yelling, the frustration, the repeating myself 15 times, the threats... the spanking.
I need a fresh start, a new approach. I need something more than "offer him choices" and "Have you read 1-2-3 Magic?" (Yes, I HAVE).
Tonight was a typical night, where trouble came from many minor areas that all served to push my mildly frustrated mood into a simmering, pouty, doom-and-gloom mood. Lucy was crying when I arrived to pick her up from daycare, and her teacher gave me the stink eye about her runny nose and cough. Finn was irate when I offered him yogurt-covered cranberries and chocolate-covered raisins as a snack, because WHERE ARE THE YOGURT-COVERED RAISINS? Lucy threw food during dinner, and Finn pulled a post-bedtime story poop fake-out to prolong his bedtime. Nothing out of the ordinary, but yet I couldn't help feeling inappropriately terrible.
As I picked up the house with M. (cleaning lady comes tomorrow), my simmering and seething began to focus on daycare. And I realized (tonight, at least) that it's not really the kids that were driving me crazy. It's my feeling (again) that we may not have them at the right daycare. The school is having a few staff changes - one teacher leaving, a shuffle to accommodate - and... I'm just not sure. I'm not sure I like the arrangements. I'm not sure these people are really qualified. And even if they are, I'm not sure I like that I'm even questioning whether they are qualified.
I plan to ask questions. I hope I like the answers, because there are many things I DO like about our daycare. But I'm getting tired of not feeling sure. Of feeling guilty.
As I thought even more about this though, I came to a second realization - that maybe guilt is the real culprit of my awful, no good, terrible evening. It's not the kids (even though it is), and it's not daycare (even though it is that, too). Mostly, I think my bad mood is coming from a conversation I had at work today. And the more I think about it, the more I have trouble believing that it actually occurred.
I was speaking to a group of women at work, all of us with kids of varying ages - some grown and struggling to find their way post-college, some starting grade school, and me with my little ones in daycare. The conversation was pleasant and nice and relatable and all the things you might think such a conversation would be among friendly women who get along. Then one woman told me a story that took me aback. She is recently back to work after taking several years off to raise her children. Her youngest child just started kindergarten last week, but she herself started back to work about 6 months ago. So during the late spring and summer, this woman enrolled her child in a preschool/daycare until kindergarten began. And one day, when she pulled up to daycare in her car, her daughter saw a baby being taken in to the school. She asked her mom what a baby was doing going to a preschool, and her mom told her that some women go back to work right after having a baby, and the daycare takes care of the babies for the mommies during the day. And her daughter replied, "Oh mommy, I'm so GLAD you stayed home with me, thank you!"
Now, I'm not begrudging this woman the appreciation she must have felt when her daughter said this. I'm sure it was very heartwarming for her. But this struck me as a very insensitive story to tell someone who did NOT stay home with her babies, who in fact still considers her children (or at least one of them) to be babies and IS NOT home with them. I have to admit, I felt a bit judged. OK, more than a bit judged, if I'm being honest; it stung.
Maybe I'm overly sensitive to this, as my mom stayed home with me, and M.'s mom stayed home with him. I feel like I SHOULD be with my kids, even if I CAN'T be with them, and to be honest, am not really sure I WANT to be with them all day.
So I obsess, and wonder constantly if I'm doing the right thing - pay the mortgage, or stay home with the kids? Buy stuff, or stay home with the kids? Clearly, for now, I've chosen to buy stuff and pay the mortgage. But then I wonder constantly about the care they get during those long, long days at daycare - at the quality of their stand-in mommies. And even though I yell and scold and threaten and even, occasionally, spank, I just can't convince myself that they measure up to ME.
Blah, blah... Sorry for the overly long, downer post. Quick, let me distract you with pictures of my adorable children (and husband)!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Naughty Cookies
Sometimes I worry that the daycare where we have our children is not exactly giving them the best head start in life, academically-speaking. Some of this worry comes from the fairly frequent spelling and grammar mistakes we find in the monthly newsletter, on the menu list (example: Chocolate was spelled "choclate" twice on the snack list. Also distressing because chocolate makes a frequent appearance on the snack list, but that's more health-related than academic...), and on notes from the kids' teachers (example: one teacher left us a note that she "adiccently" wrote that Lucy had hot dogs for lunch on her daily sheet, but really she ate food from home [we don't allow Lucy to have hot dogs yet]. Took me a while to figure out that the word she meant to use was "accidently").
I hate to sound snobbish, but this does not come from a place of having a Ph.D./higher education/whatever. These are grammar and spelling rules I learned well before college. Should I really be worried about this, or does it frustrate me because grammar/spelling mistakes are a pet peeve of mine?
My latest favorite, on Lucy's daily sheet, listing her snack for the day:
"Villan Waffers"
Wonder what the cookies (I assume they meant wafers and not waffles) did to deserve the criminal rep?
I hate to sound snobbish, but this does not come from a place of having a Ph.D./higher education/whatever. These are grammar and spelling rules I learned well before college. Should I really be worried about this, or does it frustrate me because grammar/spelling mistakes are a pet peeve of mine?
My latest favorite, on Lucy's daily sheet, listing her snack for the day:
"Villan Waffers"
Wonder what the cookies (I assume they meant wafers and not waffles) did to deserve the criminal rep?
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Life's Lessons
It is our usual practice to ask Finn how his day was and what he did at school during dinner time. Sometimes (usually) this seems like an exercise in futility, as he rarely answers with anything more than "good" and "I played with my friends." Scintillating, no? Last night, however, we got this for an answer, "Aidan and I pretended to be bad guys stealing someone's puppy."
Um, OK. How to respond here? A "that's nice, dear" doesn't really seem to cut it.
My reaction was actually one of humor, and the thought that at least he's using his creative side, right? At least he's not ACTUALLY stealing a puppy. But I wanted to know more. So, between smiles and chuckles, M. and I quizzed Finn on this little play scenario.
Who's puppy were you stealing? Keira's.
(As one of only two girls in Finn's class, she often gets the brunt of any imaginary play, she is always the one in need of rescuing/in peril.)
Did anyone try to stop you from stealing the puppy? Yes, a super hero.
(Finn has been getting really interested in super heroes over the last few months. It must be an age thing, as he has never really seen any movies or TV shows about super heroes, they just sort of appeared on his radar and he's been running with it. Currently Spider Man and Iron Man are his favorites, but he's also very curious about Super Man, Batman, and the Incredible Hulk.)
Which super hero? Iron Man.
Was Keira upset you were trying to steal her puppy? No, we were just pretending, so it's OK. But Miss Z. (teacher) says we can't pretend to be married.
OK, wha...? I was tracking with the fake puppy stealing story, but now we're talking fake marriage? Has someone been taking tips from Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag again?
Upon further conversation, it seems as though one of the 4-year-olds in the next classroom up wanted to "pretend marry" one of his classmates (meaning Finn was not the groom in question). Miss Z. overheard this and told the two involved children "We don't pretend to be married" (Imagine Finn retelling this in as stern a voice as a 3-year-old can muster). I'm not really sure what catastrophic event Miss Z. thought was going to happen next. Simulated sex in the playground playhouse, perhaps? For goodness sake, these kids are barely more than babies! Pretend marriage is harmless enough. My brother may not remember, but I have plenty of memories of dressing him and a childhood friend up and forcing the two of them to marry each other. All in good fun, right, Andrew? Of course, perhaps that has had repercussions into his adult life I hadn't anticipated...
Bottom line, Finn's lesson from school yesterday: Stealing puppies is OK, marriage is bad
If we can just stress that the puppies should be stolen from puppy farms only, and not loving homes, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of activists out there that would call this one a victory :-).
Um, OK. How to respond here? A "that's nice, dear" doesn't really seem to cut it.
My reaction was actually one of humor, and the thought that at least he's using his creative side, right? At least he's not ACTUALLY stealing a puppy. But I wanted to know more. So, between smiles and chuckles, M. and I quizzed Finn on this little play scenario.
Who's puppy were you stealing? Keira's.
(As one of only two girls in Finn's class, she often gets the brunt of any imaginary play, she is always the one in need of rescuing/in peril.)
Did anyone try to stop you from stealing the puppy? Yes, a super hero.
(Finn has been getting really interested in super heroes over the last few months. It must be an age thing, as he has never really seen any movies or TV shows about super heroes, they just sort of appeared on his radar and he's been running with it. Currently Spider Man and Iron Man are his favorites, but he's also very curious about Super Man, Batman, and the Incredible Hulk.)
Which super hero? Iron Man.
Was Keira upset you were trying to steal her puppy? No, we were just pretending, so it's OK. But Miss Z. (teacher) says we can't pretend to be married.
OK, wha...? I was tracking with the fake puppy stealing story, but now we're talking fake marriage? Has someone been taking tips from Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag again?
Upon further conversation, it seems as though one of the 4-year-olds in the next classroom up wanted to "pretend marry" one of his classmates (meaning Finn was not the groom in question). Miss Z. overheard this and told the two involved children "We don't pretend to be married" (Imagine Finn retelling this in as stern a voice as a 3-year-old can muster). I'm not really sure what catastrophic event Miss Z. thought was going to happen next. Simulated sex in the playground playhouse, perhaps? For goodness sake, these kids are barely more than babies! Pretend marriage is harmless enough. My brother may not remember, but I have plenty of memories of dressing him and a childhood friend up and forcing the two of them to marry each other. All in good fun, right, Andrew? Of course, perhaps that has had repercussions into his adult life I hadn't anticipated...
Bottom line, Finn's lesson from school yesterday: Stealing puppies is OK, marriage is bad
If we can just stress that the puppies should be stolen from puppy farms only, and not loving homes, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of activists out there that would call this one a victory :-).
Monday, April 12, 2010
Maybe I should strike while the iron is hot, and switch to a career in lobbying?
I alluded to a few concerns we've been having with our daycare in my post last week. Some are minor and fixable - a forgotten phone call when Finn got a bump on his face (Maryland regulations require a phone call to the parents whenever an injury above the sholders is received), some poor communication about supplies to bring in for the kids, etc. We've talked to the daycare director about some of those things, and policies have been reiterated to all the involved people to make sure everyone is on the same page once again.
Other concerns are not so fixable, like teachers that don't communicate well about my children's day. Often it's a language barrier, where English is not a teacher's first language. I love that my children are surrounded by people (adults and kids) of different races and cultures at this daycare, but it can be an issue where I have trouble finding out what Finn or Lucy did during the day. I also worry about the kids developing good language skills - enunciation, grammar, vocabulary, etc. This is not really a fixable issue, though - unless I have a serious complaint about a teacher, I can't really recommend any staff changes.
I also recognize that every daycare center is going to have a few flaws. There is no one center that is perfect in every way. Because of this, disrupting the kids and pulling them out to send them to a new daycare is not necessarily the right thing to do here. It would cause a lot of angst and upheaval, especially for Finn, who is fast friends with all of his classmates. And we could find ourselves right back in a similar situation at a new center, discovering a little too late some of the flaws we didn't notice before enrolling the kids.
I think the better thing to do is take some of the responsibility onto our own shoulders to make sure Finn and Lucy get the most that they can out of our current school. One of the other parents in Finn's classroom wasn't satisfied with the amount of commucation about her daughter's day, so thanks to her inquiries, we now get a written description about the day's activities on the white board right outside the classroom. These are the kinds of things that we as parents can effect to a positive result, along with making sure we reinforce the lessons and skills being taught in the classroom. I'm determined to be more aware of what is going on at school, and do my best to find ways overcome any communication barriers that may present themselves as the kids work through the different classrooms at the daycare.
Along those lines, I decided to do what I could to make some positive changes on the school's menu. Finn, and now Lucy, eat two meals and two snacks a day at school. They get far more of their nutrients and calories there than they do at home. Which means that I have very little opportunity to influence them toward a healthy diet/love of fruits and vegetables. As is the case in many daycare centers, ours is limited by money in what they can offer to the kids. Vegetables and/or fruit are offered at every lunch, but they are canned (I guess I should be happy they are at least offered, canned though they may be?). Hot dogs are on the menu a few times a month (how this can be seen as appropriate for any age group, but especially the under 2 crowd - hello, no molars and CHOKING HAZARD - I have no idea, but it seems to be a standard at most daycares). I had no visibility over what the breakfast or snack menus were, and I think I chose to remain ignorant so I wouldn't know the extent of the junk. Well, once Lucy started on table foods, I had to become aware, so that I could choose which menu items were appropriate for her. And the unblinding began.
Breakfast includes things like French toast sticks (not horrible, but not a whole grain in sight) with sausage and syrup, white toast with butter and cinnamon sugar, and sugary cereals like Apple Jacks or Fruit Loops (apparently mixed in with Cheerios, so that the whole bowl isn't full of the less-healthy cereal, but I don't think this is always carried out). There is also a day where scrambled eggs are served, so I do know that the kids get a little protein at least one morning a week. There is no fruit served with breakfast, but the drink is milk (instead of juice).
The snack menu, to me, was the more horrifying. Here it is, pretty much word for word:
Animal crackers
Graham crackers
Nilla wafers
Ritz crackers (sometimes with cheese)
Saltines (sometimes with cheese)
Goldfish
Oatmeal cookies
Chocolate chip cookies
Sugar cookies
Vanilla or chocolate pudding
Jello
There may be one or two more items that I am forgetting, but they are along the same genre. All carbs and sugar. No whole grains. No vitamin-enriched anything. No fruits or vegetables. Snacks from this list are served twice a day. The one that got me the most was Jello, because one of the floating teachers in Lucy's room couldn't understand why Lucy wasn't allowed to have Jello as a snack. She is young and ... well, she is young. I won't be more unkind than that. In what way is Jello an appropriate snack for my 11-month-old baby who cannot use a utensil, still drinks 4 bottles a day, fills her diaper with poop that I would prefer to have NOT be explosive, and needs a well-balanced diet to teach her how to eat?
If you count the Nilla wafers, graham and animal crackers, there are 6 types of cookies on this list. SIX. Crazy. In my house, we have one "cookie" - graham crackers. This just wouldn't do. I don't think kids need dessert-type foods every day. I grew up in a house where we could have sweets/junk food whenever we wanted, and my waistline has suffered mightily ever since.
Luckily, we are allowed to bring in food from home until a child is two, so I can bring in more appropriate snacks for Lucy. But that still abandons Finn to the mercies of the menu. And doesn't bode well for Lucy in another year. Instead, I decided to try to address the issue with the Director, who has two kids (and one more on the way) at the school herself, including one in Finn's classroom. She has a vested interest in a healthier menu, and I know she has done quite a bit of work to revise the curriculum at the school for the same reason. Conversations with other parents indicated that while many have complained about the menu in the past, no one has been able to get changes made. The problem lay not with the Director, but with the owner of the school (it's a small chain, and the owner lives somewhere in Pennsylvania, I have never seen him nor do I even know his name), an apparently "old school" type who didn't feel the need to make any changes. This is an attitude I didn't really understand, because enrollment was down all last year at our particular center. Doesn't he want to make his schools more attractive to parents, more and more of whom are really paying attention to things like school food, not satisfied with the standard crappy fare we all ate as kids?
So, I sent an e-mail to the Director (I figured if I did it by phone, I would back down to easily, or forget to mention some of the details of what I wanted to say). This is what I wrote to her:
[Intro stuff on other things] The second thing I wanted to bring up is the food menu. Until recently, I hadn't really been fully aware of everything the kids get for snacks and breakfast (I had more knowledge of the lunch menu because [Finn's teacher] writes that on her white board every day). It's important to me to try to instill my kids with good eating habits - I'm sure this is true for a lot of the parents at the school. We all need to rely on [Daycare Center] to help us with this - Finn and Lucy get 2 meals and 2 snacks a day at [Daycare Center] - the majority of their nutrition for the day. I was wondering if you/the owners would be open to trying to incorporate a few more fresh, healthier options into the menu. I have some specific suggestions that I'm hoping wouldn't be too difficult or any more costly than the current menu, such as:
For breakfast, substitute a whole grain/non-sugary cereal instead of Fruit Loops/Apple Jacks. Use whole wheat bread instead of white bread for the toast.
For the snack menu, substitute yogurt instead of jello. Instead of having 4-5 different kinds of cookies that are served, offer raisins, bananas, baby carrots, and other fresh fruits/vegetables on a few days of the week.
For the lunch menu, substitute frozen vegetables instead of canned vegetables (more nutrients).
From looking at an old snack menu posted outside the pre-K door, it seems that at least some of these foods have been offered by [Daycare Center] in the past. Why are they not offered now, and is there a way we can bring foods like these in?
I don't want to assume that all these suggestions can be easily carried out, but I wanted to put them out there and let you know that this is a very important aspect of my children's care to me. I know I am not alone in this, and that other parents feel the same way. It's important for us to feel like we can have a dialogue with the school about areas where we might like to have some input.
Please let me know your thoughts, and if I can help in any way.
Thanks,
A.
They weren't major changes that I was suggesting, but you need to start somewhere, right?
I sent this off on Thursday night, not expecting to get a positive response. But apparently, luck was on my side! I got a phone call from the director on Friday morning. She had spoken to the owner and his wife that morning, assuming she was doing so out of courtesy and that once again, they would refuse to make any changes. Indeed, the owner's wife was against making any changes to the menu at all. But somehow, the owner himself appears to have changed his mind. Perhaps he is seeing that so many of us parents have the same complaints, and that a cheaper menu doesn't necessarily mean a better bottom line financially. He told the director that he liked what I wrote, because it wasn't just a complaint about the food, there were specific recommendations for change. As a result, the director is now writing up a list of foods to add to the menu (not sure if she is just taking my suggestions only, or compiling a list from other people, too), and the owners are going to figure out which ones they can implement. We should know this week how the menu is going to change.
So, yay! I'm pretty proud of myself for not just accepting the status quo, or the reports from other parents that it wasn't possible to tackle this issue. Better yet, I'm glad I didn't let all my compiled negative feelings toward the center last week drive us toward finding another daycare for the kids. I have a good relationship with the director, and it would be silly to give up and move when it's possible to help make some changes that benefit not just my kids, but the entire center. Sure, it's not like we'll be switching to an all-organic, all-whole grain menu for the kids, but it's a start! And I'm pretty happy with that.
Other concerns are not so fixable, like teachers that don't communicate well about my children's day. Often it's a language barrier, where English is not a teacher's first language. I love that my children are surrounded by people (adults and kids) of different races and cultures at this daycare, but it can be an issue where I have trouble finding out what Finn or Lucy did during the day. I also worry about the kids developing good language skills - enunciation, grammar, vocabulary, etc. This is not really a fixable issue, though - unless I have a serious complaint about a teacher, I can't really recommend any staff changes.
I also recognize that every daycare center is going to have a few flaws. There is no one center that is perfect in every way. Because of this, disrupting the kids and pulling them out to send them to a new daycare is not necessarily the right thing to do here. It would cause a lot of angst and upheaval, especially for Finn, who is fast friends with all of his classmates. And we could find ourselves right back in a similar situation at a new center, discovering a little too late some of the flaws we didn't notice before enrolling the kids.
I think the better thing to do is take some of the responsibility onto our own shoulders to make sure Finn and Lucy get the most that they can out of our current school. One of the other parents in Finn's classroom wasn't satisfied with the amount of commucation about her daughter's day, so thanks to her inquiries, we now get a written description about the day's activities on the white board right outside the classroom. These are the kinds of things that we as parents can effect to a positive result, along with making sure we reinforce the lessons and skills being taught in the classroom. I'm determined to be more aware of what is going on at school, and do my best to find ways overcome any communication barriers that may present themselves as the kids work through the different classrooms at the daycare.
Along those lines, I decided to do what I could to make some positive changes on the school's menu. Finn, and now Lucy, eat two meals and two snacks a day at school. They get far more of their nutrients and calories there than they do at home. Which means that I have very little opportunity to influence them toward a healthy diet/love of fruits and vegetables. As is the case in many daycare centers, ours is limited by money in what they can offer to the kids. Vegetables and/or fruit are offered at every lunch, but they are canned (I guess I should be happy they are at least offered, canned though they may be?). Hot dogs are on the menu a few times a month (how this can be seen as appropriate for any age group, but especially the under 2 crowd - hello, no molars and CHOKING HAZARD - I have no idea, but it seems to be a standard at most daycares). I had no visibility over what the breakfast or snack menus were, and I think I chose to remain ignorant so I wouldn't know the extent of the junk. Well, once Lucy started on table foods, I had to become aware, so that I could choose which menu items were appropriate for her. And the unblinding began.
Breakfast includes things like French toast sticks (not horrible, but not a whole grain in sight) with sausage and syrup, white toast with butter and cinnamon sugar, and sugary cereals like Apple Jacks or Fruit Loops (apparently mixed in with Cheerios, so that the whole bowl isn't full of the less-healthy cereal, but I don't think this is always carried out). There is also a day where scrambled eggs are served, so I do know that the kids get a little protein at least one morning a week. There is no fruit served with breakfast, but the drink is milk (instead of juice).
The snack menu, to me, was the more horrifying. Here it is, pretty much word for word:
Animal crackers
Graham crackers
Nilla wafers
Ritz crackers (sometimes with cheese)
Saltines (sometimes with cheese)
Goldfish
Oatmeal cookies
Chocolate chip cookies
Sugar cookies
Vanilla or chocolate pudding
Jello
There may be one or two more items that I am forgetting, but they are along the same genre. All carbs and sugar. No whole grains. No vitamin-enriched anything. No fruits or vegetables. Snacks from this list are served twice a day. The one that got me the most was Jello, because one of the floating teachers in Lucy's room couldn't understand why Lucy wasn't allowed to have Jello as a snack. She is young and ... well, she is young. I won't be more unkind than that. In what way is Jello an appropriate snack for my 11-month-old baby who cannot use a utensil, still drinks 4 bottles a day, fills her diaper with poop that I would prefer to have NOT be explosive, and needs a well-balanced diet to teach her how to eat?
If you count the Nilla wafers, graham and animal crackers, there are 6 types of cookies on this list. SIX. Crazy. In my house, we have one "cookie" - graham crackers. This just wouldn't do. I don't think kids need dessert-type foods every day. I grew up in a house where we could have sweets/junk food whenever we wanted, and my waistline has suffered mightily ever since.
Luckily, we are allowed to bring in food from home until a child is two, so I can bring in more appropriate snacks for Lucy. But that still abandons Finn to the mercies of the menu. And doesn't bode well for Lucy in another year. Instead, I decided to try to address the issue with the Director, who has two kids (and one more on the way) at the school herself, including one in Finn's classroom. She has a vested interest in a healthier menu, and I know she has done quite a bit of work to revise the curriculum at the school for the same reason. Conversations with other parents indicated that while many have complained about the menu in the past, no one has been able to get changes made. The problem lay not with the Director, but with the owner of the school (it's a small chain, and the owner lives somewhere in Pennsylvania, I have never seen him nor do I even know his name), an apparently "old school" type who didn't feel the need to make any changes. This is an attitude I didn't really understand, because enrollment was down all last year at our particular center. Doesn't he want to make his schools more attractive to parents, more and more of whom are really paying attention to things like school food, not satisfied with the standard crappy fare we all ate as kids?
So, I sent an e-mail to the Director (I figured if I did it by phone, I would back down to easily, or forget to mention some of the details of what I wanted to say). This is what I wrote to her:
[Intro stuff on other things] The second thing I wanted to bring up is the food menu. Until recently, I hadn't really been fully aware of everything the kids get for snacks and breakfast (I had more knowledge of the lunch menu because [Finn's teacher] writes that on her white board every day). It's important to me to try to instill my kids with good eating habits - I'm sure this is true for a lot of the parents at the school. We all need to rely on [Daycare Center] to help us with this - Finn and Lucy get 2 meals and 2 snacks a day at [Daycare Center] - the majority of their nutrition for the day. I was wondering if you/the owners would be open to trying to incorporate a few more fresh, healthier options into the menu. I have some specific suggestions that I'm hoping wouldn't be too difficult or any more costly than the current menu, such as:
For breakfast, substitute a whole grain/non-sugary cereal instead of Fruit Loops/Apple Jacks. Use whole wheat bread instead of white bread for the toast.
For the snack menu, substitute yogurt instead of jello. Instead of having 4-5 different kinds of cookies that are served, offer raisins, bananas, baby carrots, and other fresh fruits/vegetables on a few days of the week.
For the lunch menu, substitute frozen vegetables instead of canned vegetables (more nutrients).
From looking at an old snack menu posted outside the pre-K door, it seems that at least some of these foods have been offered by [Daycare Center] in the past. Why are they not offered now, and is there a way we can bring foods like these in?
I don't want to assume that all these suggestions can be easily carried out, but I wanted to put them out there and let you know that this is a very important aspect of my children's care to me. I know I am not alone in this, and that other parents feel the same way. It's important for us to feel like we can have a dialogue with the school about areas where we might like to have some input.
Please let me know your thoughts, and if I can help in any way.
Thanks,
A.
They weren't major changes that I was suggesting, but you need to start somewhere, right?
I sent this off on Thursday night, not expecting to get a positive response. But apparently, luck was on my side! I got a phone call from the director on Friday morning. She had spoken to the owner and his wife that morning, assuming she was doing so out of courtesy and that once again, they would refuse to make any changes. Indeed, the owner's wife was against making any changes to the menu at all. But somehow, the owner himself appears to have changed his mind. Perhaps he is seeing that so many of us parents have the same complaints, and that a cheaper menu doesn't necessarily mean a better bottom line financially. He told the director that he liked what I wrote, because it wasn't just a complaint about the food, there were specific recommendations for change. As a result, the director is now writing up a list of foods to add to the menu (not sure if she is just taking my suggestions only, or compiling a list from other people, too), and the owners are going to figure out which ones they can implement. We should know this week how the menu is going to change.
So, yay! I'm pretty proud of myself for not just accepting the status quo, or the reports from other parents that it wasn't possible to tackle this issue. Better yet, I'm glad I didn't let all my compiled negative feelings toward the center last week drive us toward finding another daycare for the kids. I have a good relationship with the director, and it would be silly to give up and move when it's possible to help make some changes that benefit not just my kids, but the entire center. Sure, it's not like we'll be switching to an all-organic, all-whole grain menu for the kids, but it's a start! And I'm pretty happy with that.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Frustration and Photos
(Notice, by the way, my refusal to utilize a cutesy alliteration like "Frustration and Fotos" in the post title. "Cute" alliterations that misspell words are a pet peeve of mine, and if Dunkin Donuts wasn't so darn convenient to my workplace, I would probably boycott the entire chain. Please, family of mine, do not gasp - I know those words are sacrilege for a native New Englander, as Bostonian diets are about 50% reliant on D&D.)
Today I feel like I'm not doing anything right. Mostly in the parenting arena - it's completely one of those days where I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing parking my kids in daycare for 9+ hours a day. I'm having some issues with our daycare, some trivial, some maybe not trivial, but it's making me question our choices. I'm sure I'm over-reacting to some degree. I mean, is it necessary to have a mini anxiety attack about about WHO WILL HELP FINN DO HIS HOMEWORK??? AFTER SCHOOL???? IN THREE YEARS???????
I'm having some doubts in the working arena, too, as it's one of those days where I'm losing sight of why my job is important/good and feeling mired in politics and bureaucratic crap. Put the two together (working and parenting doubt), and it's hard to feel upbeat. I would vent, but I think it would be coming from the wrong place and be too reflective of my bad mood. The good news is that we are just a few hours away from tomorrow, and tomorrow is my birthday, so I HAVE to feel better then, right?
In the meantime, I thought I'd share some recent photos of Finn and Lucy, documenting some of our outdoor fun and weekend activities. Outdoor photos are so much better than anything you (or I, at least) can take inside - it should be a rule that all school photos need to be taken outside. By the way, remind me to close the loop on my post about school photos. Lucy's pictures this past round were, in fact, WORSE than the ones last November, and I am sadly not purchasing them again. I'll try to scan the proofs in to share the awfulness one of these days.
Sorry for the overload, but I love too many of these to narrow them down. I'd provide legends, but I'm lazy. Also, it's almost past my bedtime, and taking the time to write 15 figure legends would seriously cut into my "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" reading time (BTW, as a diehard P&P fan, I can avow that P&P&Z is not as good as the original, but I feel obligated to see the book through. Elizabeth is just not meant to graphically contemplate ripping Darcy's heart out of his chest to avenge Jane's dashed hopes of love with Bingley, no matter how much she loves her sister).
Couldn't resist one note here - M. likes to title this one "Finn as Scott Stapp, With Arms Wide Open"
I threw this photo in not because I'm being all vain and saying I love it, but because it completes the triad of "M. as photojournalist during our post-swim class lunch at Pandini's." Also, I thought my grandmother would appreciate it on this, my birthday eve. Love you, Mimi! And you, too, Mom!
Today I feel like I'm not doing anything right. Mostly in the parenting arena - it's completely one of those days where I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing parking my kids in daycare for 9+ hours a day. I'm having some issues with our daycare, some trivial, some maybe not trivial, but it's making me question our choices. I'm sure I'm over-reacting to some degree. I mean, is it necessary to have a mini anxiety attack about about WHO WILL HELP FINN DO HIS HOMEWORK??? AFTER SCHOOL???? IN THREE YEARS???????
I'm having some doubts in the working arena, too, as it's one of those days where I'm losing sight of why my job is important/good and feeling mired in politics and bureaucratic crap. Put the two together (working and parenting doubt), and it's hard to feel upbeat. I would vent, but I think it would be coming from the wrong place and be too reflective of my bad mood. The good news is that we are just a few hours away from tomorrow, and tomorrow is my birthday, so I HAVE to feel better then, right?
In the meantime, I thought I'd share some recent photos of Finn and Lucy, documenting some of our outdoor fun and weekend activities. Outdoor photos are so much better than anything you (or I, at least) can take inside - it should be a rule that all school photos need to be taken outside. By the way, remind me to close the loop on my post about school photos. Lucy's pictures this past round were, in fact, WORSE than the ones last November, and I am sadly not purchasing them again. I'll try to scan the proofs in to share the awfulness one of these days.
Sorry for the overload, but I love too many of these to narrow them down. I'd provide legends, but I'm lazy. Also, it's almost past my bedtime, and taking the time to write 15 figure legends would seriously cut into my "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" reading time (BTW, as a diehard P&P fan, I can avow that P&P&Z is not as good as the original, but I feel obligated to see the book through. Elizabeth is just not meant to graphically contemplate ripping Darcy's heart out of his chest to avenge Jane's dashed hopes of love with Bingley, no matter how much she loves her sister).
Couldn't resist one note here - M. likes to title this one "Finn as Scott Stapp, With Arms Wide Open"
I threw this photo in not because I'm being all vain and saying I love it, but because it completes the triad of "M. as photojournalist during our post-swim class lunch at Pandini's." Also, I thought my grandmother would appreciate it on this, my birthday eve. Love you, Mimi! And you, too, Mom!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Finally a Moment to Blog
I've been totally remiss in updating about Lucy's start at daycare. In my defense, I've been crazy busy at work AND traveling - as I type this, I sit in the Tampa airport, waiting to fly back home. With any luck (all fingers and toes are crossed), I will be home in time to help with bedtime. Metro D.C. traffic patterns can suck it, I WILL see my kids tonight.
I'm always quite prepared about travel - I get to the airport early (hence, finally some free time to actually update my blog, thanks to free wireless), I pack all my toiletries in the standard quart size bag and put it in easy reach to pull out for security, I take off my shoes and take out my computer without asking, etc. Total pro. Except today, of course, where I somehow managed to forget that I had a water bottle packed in my carry on suitcase. I could go on and on about the experience of having my back set aside and searched, and the contraband taken away, by a TSA official who seemed to be pulling my leg the entire time as he spoke very deliberately and slowly in his Greek accent. Until he pulled out the bottle of water, of course. But I'll spare you, and move on to more interesting topics.
So, daycare. There actually isn't much to report. Lucy is doing great there. She does a wonderful job drinking her bottles (she's up to six ounces. SIX! I'm just floored, I don't think Finn hit that volume until he was at least 7 months old), and is generally pretty happy and smiley. As predicted, she does not do a great job napping there. But fortunately, to make up for the shortness of her naps (they average about half an hour, but some have been as short as 15 minutes!), her providers are really good about putting her down often. Usually she takes about 4 naps a day at school, so she's getting about 2 hours of sleep there. Still less than she needs, of course, so bedtime has been coming early.
One slight disruption - we just learned yesterday that Lucy's primary caregiver has given notice, and will be leaving after Friday. It all seems a bit fishy - she told M. that she is quitting because "too many people are mad at [her]." Unclear if she meant her co-workers, but I'm really not interested in getting the scoop. Her role will be taken over by one of the other senior staff in the infant room, so Lucy and the other babies won't really notice a difference. Not that they notice much, of course ;-).
I have been out of town since Sunday night. My first time leaving Lucy, and it was not easy for me. I've whipped out my trusty cell phone on several occasions over the last couple of days just to look at the pictures I have of Finn and Lucy on it. Pathetic, I'm sure, but what can I say, I miss them!
M. has been doing great job on his own, due in a large part to Finn. He has been a big help, playing by himself while M. puts Lucy down for bed and in general being as helpful as an almost 3-year-old can be. It's my turn next week - M. will be out of town for two days - and I can only hope things go just as well for me. Don't want M. showing me up! ;-)
By the way, Finn has been asking to wear underwear to bed at night. M. managed to wriggle out of it last night by offering pull-ups with Lightening McQueen on them, a new purchase. I was relieved for him, because parenting solo is no time to introduce possible middle-of-the-night accidents that require changing the sheets. However, it's definitely time, so we may try it out tonight since I will be back to help. I think he'll do great, but may be back to ask for advice if things don't go as well as expected.
I'm always quite prepared about travel - I get to the airport early (hence, finally some free time to actually update my blog, thanks to free wireless), I pack all my toiletries in the standard quart size bag and put it in easy reach to pull out for security, I take off my shoes and take out my computer without asking, etc. Total pro. Except today, of course, where I somehow managed to forget that I had a water bottle packed in my carry on suitcase. I could go on and on about the experience of having my back set aside and searched, and the contraband taken away, by a TSA official who seemed to be pulling my leg the entire time as he spoke very deliberately and slowly in his Greek accent. Until he pulled out the bottle of water, of course. But I'll spare you, and move on to more interesting topics.
So, daycare. There actually isn't much to report. Lucy is doing great there. She does a wonderful job drinking her bottles (she's up to six ounces. SIX! I'm just floored, I don't think Finn hit that volume until he was at least 7 months old), and is generally pretty happy and smiley. As predicted, she does not do a great job napping there. But fortunately, to make up for the shortness of her naps (they average about half an hour, but some have been as short as 15 minutes!), her providers are really good about putting her down often. Usually she takes about 4 naps a day at school, so she's getting about 2 hours of sleep there. Still less than she needs, of course, so bedtime has been coming early.
One slight disruption - we just learned yesterday that Lucy's primary caregiver has given notice, and will be leaving after Friday. It all seems a bit fishy - she told M. that she is quitting because "too many people are mad at [her]." Unclear if she meant her co-workers, but I'm really not interested in getting the scoop. Her role will be taken over by one of the other senior staff in the infant room, so Lucy and the other babies won't really notice a difference. Not that they notice much, of course ;-).
I have been out of town since Sunday night. My first time leaving Lucy, and it was not easy for me. I've whipped out my trusty cell phone on several occasions over the last couple of days just to look at the pictures I have of Finn and Lucy on it. Pathetic, I'm sure, but what can I say, I miss them!
M. has been doing great job on his own, due in a large part to Finn. He has been a big help, playing by himself while M. puts Lucy down for bed and in general being as helpful as an almost 3-year-old can be. It's my turn next week - M. will be out of town for two days - and I can only hope things go just as well for me. Don't want M. showing me up! ;-)
By the way, Finn has been asking to wear underwear to bed at night. M. managed to wriggle out of it last night by offering pull-ups with Lightening McQueen on them, a new purchase. I was relieved for him, because parenting solo is no time to introduce possible middle-of-the-night accidents that require changing the sheets. However, it's definitely time, so we may try it out tonight since I will be back to help. I think he'll do great, but may be back to ask for advice if things don't go as well as expected.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Here Comes Lucy
Last Thursday we brought Lucy in to the daycare center to get a little orientation to the infant room. We received one back in January when we were looking at new daycare centers. That was a long time ago, though, and given that I nearly passed out while I was there (don't think I ever blogged about that, but I blame it on an overachieving heating system, no protein for breakfast, and the fact that I was 5 months pregnant. V., v. embarrassing, but no harm done), it seemed like a good idea to get a refresher.
It was all pretty standard fare, for the most part. The usual sick policy stuff, a rundown of how often all the toys are cleaned (often), how often diapers are changed (also often - every 2 hours, or sooner if poop is involved), etc. We will bring in extra clothes (lots!), bibs (lots and lots!), burp cloths, a couple of blankets, a couple of pacifiers, a sun hat (they do try to take the infants outside every now and then), a mobile for her crib (not required, but helps to distract if the caregiver can't attend to Lucy right away when she wakes up), bottles (already made up), diaper rash cream, and the kitchen sink. Good lord, the list is long. Of course, most of those things will live at daycare, so M. will only have to carry in a mountain of stuff the first day. Subsequent days should be a bit more manageable.
Two things that we do not have to bring in are diapers and wipes - score! I'd say that's a huge money saver (and it is), but honestly it's a drop in the bucket compared to the eleventy-million dollars we'll be paying each week to have two kids in daycare.
There are only 3 babies on the small infant side of the room right now (enrollment is down all over the center, and I think that's true everywhere as I keep seeing daycare signs advertising vacancies all over town - side effect of the crappy economy I guess), so Lucy will have just one primary teacher for most of each day. Her name is Babs, and she's a bit much. Very thorough, and I'm sure she'll do a good job. But she's been doing this for a long time, and clearly has her own ideas about how one should raise babies. It's OK, as it seems her opinions match ours on key things (she rocks babies to sleep if they need it, thinks lots of floor time is important, gives little ones pacifiers whenever they need it but restricts pacifier use to sleeping only when babies get older, etc). But should we ever disagree I'm sure there will be some resistance on her part to change how she does things. I'm no rookie, though, so I'll have no problem insisting on what I want for my child.
As part of the paperwork we had to fill out for Lucy, there was a standard "All About My Child" sheet that the state provides. Clearly it's meant for older children, as it seemed a bit ridiculous to try to find things to write to fill the boxes. For example, "Things my child is good at." Um, she's pretty good at standing if you help her up and hold on to her? Or "Things I'm working on with my child." Falling asleep on her own? I mean seriously, what am I supposed to write? We're working on solving differential equations, and I'm concerned that Lucy's just not getting the concept yet?
The one box that's actually useful for an infant, the one that asks you describe any routines your child follows, is the smallest box on the form. So, as helpful as that form may be to Babs, Lucy will be accompanied tomorrow by a printed copy of a Word document I put together to describe all the Lucy essentials for taking care of her. How often she eats, how often she sleeps, how we get her to go to sleep, what makes her fussy, even a sample schedule. I broke down and used a Word document because I can update it periodically and bring in a new copy when things change. I'm hoping it's an improvement over the endless pieces of small notebook paper I used to bring in for Finn.
I'm not nervous about Lucy going to daycare tomorrow, and I'm not worried that she'll be miserable. I know she'll be a horrible sleeper there, and that's OK. They'll take good care of her, and I'm sure she'll get lots of attention. I am sad, though. I'm sad that I'm not going to know what every minute of Lucy's day is like anymore. I won't know what all her moods were, what things made her smile, what things made her laugh. I had a hard time with that while M. was taking care of her, too, perhaps even a harder time than I will with daycare. At least daycare will give me an exact reporting of how long each nap was and how many ounces she drank from each bottle. I think it's safe to say that I'm a little bit of a micro-manager, and I don't like that I won't be able to have a say in all the little aspects of Lucy's days anymore.
Yikes, it's already 10 pm, time to get myself to bed. Just a few more hours until Lucy wakes up (sleeping through the night is still not happening again), and then a couple more before the mad morning rush begins. I leave you with some pictures:
Such a happy baby!
Not to mention cute.
Blowing bubbles with an excess of drool
Modeling the floaties that we FINALLY got him to use in the pool this weekend
Chilling with some toys
Slings, not just for carrying babies, also excellent for stuffed dogs
It was all pretty standard fare, for the most part. The usual sick policy stuff, a rundown of how often all the toys are cleaned (often), how often diapers are changed (also often - every 2 hours, or sooner if poop is involved), etc. We will bring in extra clothes (lots!), bibs (lots and lots!), burp cloths, a couple of blankets, a couple of pacifiers, a sun hat (they do try to take the infants outside every now and then), a mobile for her crib (not required, but helps to distract if the caregiver can't attend to Lucy right away when she wakes up), bottles (already made up), diaper rash cream, and the kitchen sink. Good lord, the list is long. Of course, most of those things will live at daycare, so M. will only have to carry in a mountain of stuff the first day. Subsequent days should be a bit more manageable.
Two things that we do not have to bring in are diapers and wipes - score! I'd say that's a huge money saver (and it is), but honestly it's a drop in the bucket compared to the eleventy-million dollars we'll be paying each week to have two kids in daycare.
There are only 3 babies on the small infant side of the room right now (enrollment is down all over the center, and I think that's true everywhere as I keep seeing daycare signs advertising vacancies all over town - side effect of the crappy economy I guess), so Lucy will have just one primary teacher for most of each day. Her name is Babs, and she's a bit much. Very thorough, and I'm sure she'll do a good job. But she's been doing this for a long time, and clearly has her own ideas about how one should raise babies. It's OK, as it seems her opinions match ours on key things (she rocks babies to sleep if they need it, thinks lots of floor time is important, gives little ones pacifiers whenever they need it but restricts pacifier use to sleeping only when babies get older, etc). But should we ever disagree I'm sure there will be some resistance on her part to change how she does things. I'm no rookie, though, so I'll have no problem insisting on what I want for my child.
As part of the paperwork we had to fill out for Lucy, there was a standard "All About My Child" sheet that the state provides. Clearly it's meant for older children, as it seemed a bit ridiculous to try to find things to write to fill the boxes. For example, "Things my child is good at." Um, she's pretty good at standing if you help her up and hold on to her? Or "Things I'm working on with my child." Falling asleep on her own? I mean seriously, what am I supposed to write? We're working on solving differential equations, and I'm concerned that Lucy's just not getting the concept yet?
The one box that's actually useful for an infant, the one that asks you describe any routines your child follows, is the smallest box on the form. So, as helpful as that form may be to Babs, Lucy will be accompanied tomorrow by a printed copy of a Word document I put together to describe all the Lucy essentials for taking care of her. How often she eats, how often she sleeps, how we get her to go to sleep, what makes her fussy, even a sample schedule. I broke down and used a Word document because I can update it periodically and bring in a new copy when things change. I'm hoping it's an improvement over the endless pieces of small notebook paper I used to bring in for Finn.
I'm not nervous about Lucy going to daycare tomorrow, and I'm not worried that she'll be miserable. I know she'll be a horrible sleeper there, and that's OK. They'll take good care of her, and I'm sure she'll get lots of attention. I am sad, though. I'm sad that I'm not going to know what every minute of Lucy's day is like anymore. I won't know what all her moods were, what things made her smile, what things made her laugh. I had a hard time with that while M. was taking care of her, too, perhaps even a harder time than I will with daycare. At least daycare will give me an exact reporting of how long each nap was and how many ounces she drank from each bottle. I think it's safe to say that I'm a little bit of a micro-manager, and I don't like that I won't be able to have a say in all the little aspects of Lucy's days anymore.
Yikes, it's already 10 pm, time to get myself to bed. Just a few more hours until Lucy wakes up (sleeping through the night is still not happening again), and then a couple more before the mad morning rush begins. I leave you with some pictures:
Such a happy baby!
Not to mention cute.
Blowing bubbles with an excess of drool
Modeling the floaties that we FINALLY got him to use in the pool this weekend
Chilling with some toys
Slings, not just for carrying babies, also excellent for stuffed dogs
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
In which I try unsuccessfully to NOT talk about my kids
I thought today was my 1-year Blogiversary. It's not (that blessed event is apparently actually on July 10th, according to my archives), but my error in memory caused me to go back and read a couple of my old posts. And now I feel the need to apologize because, dude, I was much more interesting and funny before my life became focused solely on my kids (and let's be honest, that happened at least a good month or two before Lucy was born, when third trimester exhaustion left me unable to think of ANYTHING other than getting the baby OUT). Then, I had descriptions of awkward haircut experiences and home improvement projects, and even a little political commentary. Now, it's all, "She sleeps! She doesn't sleep! I have nothing to say, so here, cute pictures!"
So, since my life still revolves entirely around getting one 10-week-old little girl to sleep or eat for a few more days, I will harken back to my past in the interest of sharing non-kid related (for the most part) thoughts. I will relate some embarrassing stories about myself. With a (tenuous) purpose, of course.
Sibling rivalry with multiples is always fierce, and I certainly admit that my sisters excel in ways I do not. But I think it can be justifiably argued that, in high school at least, I was the best student of the three of us. Graduated 6th in my class (not too shabby in a fairly competitive, upper middle class community where all kids are expected to go to college), 1430 on the SATs, etc (yes, none of this is embarrassing, except perhaps the fact that 14 years later I still remember all this stuff, but I'm getting there, I promise). My mom always attributed my scholastic success to my "fine scientific mind." It was a phrase she used often, up until the time she realized that, even with a Ph.D. in Biology, I was never going to "cure cancer" (another phrase she often trotted out). I always just thought my success was because I had a good memory (had being the operative word here, as I now have a rather mediocre memory, thanks likely to too much alcohol in my wilder days) and was able to take tests well.
Best student or not, I always felt insecure about my assumed intelligence, as though I was putting on a smart act, and people would one day find out I was dumb as a rock. And it's true that I'm lacking in the big picture/common sense department. I share with you now a couple of embarrassing examples as testament:
I did not learn to tell time until the 7th grade. This is true. I faked it until then. Digital watches were a staple. You see, I was on solid ground during the first half of each hour, when the little hand is aligned with the number of the hour. My downfall was the second half of the hour. If the little hand is halfway between 1 and 2, and the big hand is on the 9, does that make it 1:45 or 2:45? I kid you not, I did not know. Understanding finally dawned for me when I started taking Spanish lessons. In Spanish, in the first half of the hour, you would say "Es la uno y media" (It's one and a half, or 1:30). After the half hour, you switch to saying "Son las dos menos quarto" (It's two minus a quarter, or 1:45). Somehow, this led me to finally understand that after the half hour mark, the little hand starts moving toward the next hour. So even though the little hand is between the 1 and the 2, it is most definitely 1:45 and not 2:45. Crazy, eh? I'm not sure how this concept escaped me in the first or second grade, whenever the topic was first introduced.
Second example: I'm not sure exactly when I realized my error in thinking with this next one, but it was certainly only within the last 10 years. For a very long time, the advertising prowess of the M&M corporation flew completely over my head. I always thought their ad campaign that M&M's "melt in your mouth, not in your hand," was completely ridiculous. Those delicious red, yellow, orange, green, brown and tan (remember those tan M&M's?) candies ALWAYS melted in my hand. WHAT were they talking about? Clearly those candy engineers needed to work on their hard candy coating, as it was not holding up as advertised. Eventually it dawned on my that what those tricky M&M ad execs where trying to tell me was "Yes, we realize that our candy coating COULD melt in your hand, but our candies are so gosh darn delicious that there will be no TIME for them to melt in your hand. You will stuff the whole bag of sweetness into your pie-hole as fast as you possibly can." Ohhhh, now I get it...
There are plenty of other times in my life where I have demonstrated such a lack of, hmm, would we call it common sense? It made me unsure of myself a lot, still does, in fact. So it was never reassuring to continually hear about how smart I was, how I was destined to do something noteworthy. Like anyone else, I'm really good at a couple of things, pretty darn sucky at some other things (like telling time, apparently), and just OK at all the rest.
I've been thinking about these old knowledge quirks of mine lately because of Finn. It bothers me a little that all of the staff at his school keep going on and on about how smart he is (see, I had to turn it back to my kids, after all, couldn't stay away). I mean, they really do go on about it (mostly to us, I think, I don't believe they say these things to Finn directly but I don't really know). Some parents might be opposed to such high praise on the grounds that it might make their child lazy, as if they don't have to work as hard at school because they are naturally smart (don't worry, I am not confusing daycare with school here, this is all hypothetical future stuff). Other parents might see nothing wrong with it - I mean, aren't we SUPPOSED to encourage our kids? Me, I'm worried it will give Finn feelings of inadequacy someday. It's a lot to live up to, this "smart" label. I love my child and recognize his awesome qualities more than anyone else. But he's a 2-year-old with great speaking skills, not a genius. I want to make sure he has the space to find out on his own what he's good at (and what he's bad at), and praise him for the things he does, not the things he might do one day.
Did well-meaning family members and friends scar me a little with praise? Who knows. Maybe I'm just inherently insecure. If so, hopefully Finn and Lucy managed not to get those genes from me. One thing is sure, though - you can bet that I'll spend a little extra time helping them with their homework during the time unit.
So, since my life still revolves entirely around getting one 10-week-old little girl to sleep or eat for a few more days, I will harken back to my past in the interest of sharing non-kid related (for the most part) thoughts. I will relate some embarrassing stories about myself. With a (tenuous) purpose, of course.
Sibling rivalry with multiples is always fierce, and I certainly admit that my sisters excel in ways I do not. But I think it can be justifiably argued that, in high school at least, I was the best student of the three of us. Graduated 6th in my class (not too shabby in a fairly competitive, upper middle class community where all kids are expected to go to college), 1430 on the SATs, etc (yes, none of this is embarrassing, except perhaps the fact that 14 years later I still remember all this stuff, but I'm getting there, I promise). My mom always attributed my scholastic success to my "fine scientific mind." It was a phrase she used often, up until the time she realized that, even with a Ph.D. in Biology, I was never going to "cure cancer" (another phrase she often trotted out). I always just thought my success was because I had a good memory (had being the operative word here, as I now have a rather mediocre memory, thanks likely to too much alcohol in my wilder days) and was able to take tests well.
Best student or not, I always felt insecure about my assumed intelligence, as though I was putting on a smart act, and people would one day find out I was dumb as a rock. And it's true that I'm lacking in the big picture/common sense department. I share with you now a couple of embarrassing examples as testament:
I did not learn to tell time until the 7th grade. This is true. I faked it until then. Digital watches were a staple. You see, I was on solid ground during the first half of each hour, when the little hand is aligned with the number of the hour. My downfall was the second half of the hour. If the little hand is halfway between 1 and 2, and the big hand is on the 9, does that make it 1:45 or 2:45? I kid you not, I did not know. Understanding finally dawned for me when I started taking Spanish lessons. In Spanish, in the first half of the hour, you would say "Es la uno y media" (It's one and a half, or 1:30). After the half hour, you switch to saying "Son las dos menos quarto" (It's two minus a quarter, or 1:45). Somehow, this led me to finally understand that after the half hour mark, the little hand starts moving toward the next hour. So even though the little hand is between the 1 and the 2, it is most definitely 1:45 and not 2:45. Crazy, eh? I'm not sure how this concept escaped me in the first or second grade, whenever the topic was first introduced.
Second example: I'm not sure exactly when I realized my error in thinking with this next one, but it was certainly only within the last 10 years. For a very long time, the advertising prowess of the M&M corporation flew completely over my head. I always thought their ad campaign that M&M's "melt in your mouth, not in your hand," was completely ridiculous. Those delicious red, yellow, orange, green, brown and tan (remember those tan M&M's?) candies ALWAYS melted in my hand. WHAT were they talking about? Clearly those candy engineers needed to work on their hard candy coating, as it was not holding up as advertised. Eventually it dawned on my that what those tricky M&M ad execs where trying to tell me was "Yes, we realize that our candy coating COULD melt in your hand, but our candies are so gosh darn delicious that there will be no TIME for them to melt in your hand. You will stuff the whole bag of sweetness into your pie-hole as fast as you possibly can." Ohhhh, now I get it...
There are plenty of other times in my life where I have demonstrated such a lack of, hmm, would we call it common sense? It made me unsure of myself a lot, still does, in fact. So it was never reassuring to continually hear about how smart I was, how I was destined to do something noteworthy. Like anyone else, I'm really good at a couple of things, pretty darn sucky at some other things (like telling time, apparently), and just OK at all the rest.
I've been thinking about these old knowledge quirks of mine lately because of Finn. It bothers me a little that all of the staff at his school keep going on and on about how smart he is (see, I had to turn it back to my kids, after all, couldn't stay away). I mean, they really do go on about it (mostly to us, I think, I don't believe they say these things to Finn directly but I don't really know). Some parents might be opposed to such high praise on the grounds that it might make their child lazy, as if they don't have to work as hard at school because they are naturally smart (don't worry, I am not confusing daycare with school here, this is all hypothetical future stuff). Other parents might see nothing wrong with it - I mean, aren't we SUPPOSED to encourage our kids? Me, I'm worried it will give Finn feelings of inadequacy someday. It's a lot to live up to, this "smart" label. I love my child and recognize his awesome qualities more than anyone else. But he's a 2-year-old with great speaking skills, not a genius. I want to make sure he has the space to find out on his own what he's good at (and what he's bad at), and praise him for the things he does, not the things he might do one day.
Did well-meaning family members and friends scar me a little with praise? Who knows. Maybe I'm just inherently insecure. If so, hopefully Finn and Lucy managed not to get those genes from me. One thing is sure, though - you can bet that I'll spend a little extra time helping them with their homework during the time unit.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Hard, But Getting Better?
Well, Finn's daycare transition has not been seamless. After the first couple of days, I think reality set in, and he started putting up a fight. M. does the morning drop off, and he has been getting the brunt of it all. As they drive toward school, Finn gets quieter and quieter, then starts saying things like, "I don't want to go to my new school." As if that isn't hard enough to hear, once Finn is in the classroom, and it's time for M. to hit the road, the tears start. Ugh. And I think this is worse than previous daycare transitions simply because it's not just the tears anymore. Now Finn is old enough to express himself and say things that just break your heart. On one day, M. told Finn that it's OK to be a little sad. Finn told him, "No, Daddy, I not a little sad, I sad A LOT." And apparently he talks about us ad nauseum - he can't find his mommy, he can't find his daddy, he loves his mommy, he loves his daddy, his mommy's coming to pick him up later,... I'm pretty sure the staff is sick of him talking about us.
Finn's been putting up such a stink in the morning that some of the other parents have either witnessed it or overheard the teachers talking about it. When M. ran in to another parent yesterday and mentioned that Finn has been crying a lot, she said, "I heard." But by the time I come pick him up in the afternoon, he is fine, his usual goofy self. In fact, he runs all over the classroom or playground, and refuses to let me corral him out the door. I've called his teacher once or twice at around 10 am just to check in, and according to her he's always doing great by the time she gets in (at 8:30, I think). He's been napping well, and eating well. And he's really taken to potty training. He's even pooped in the potty twice! Bringing the grand total to 3 times, since he's only done it once at home. So it's not like he's having a miserable time, he's just having a hard time separating from us in the morning.
I think part of the problem is that Finn is one of the first, if not the first, kids to get in each day. Most of the parents must work pretty locally, I guess. And his teachers don't come in until 8:30, so he has to hang out in a different classroom for the first part of the morning. If there was a mess of kids playing, or the teachers that he spends most of his time with, already there during drop off, it would probably go more smoothly.
There are a few other things about the school that bother us, like the fact that there's a TV in the classroom, which we didn't know they had. It gets used on Fridays for movie day and once or twice a week for a short video like a Barney or Elmo episode. I'd rather Finn be playing outside or reading or coloring or SOMETHING. A little TV is OK, but selfishly I'd like to reserve that for when Finn's at home and I need to cook dinner. For the amount of money we're paying, the school should have enough activities planned that they don't rely on TV. Also, there's never anyone at the front desk during drop off or pick up - we've never actually met the school director. She lives in another state, and her hours each day are ridiculously abbreviated. Finally, one of the other parents (the one I mentioned above) overheard Finn chattering away and told M. that she's glad there's another child now in her daughter's class that talks a lot. Apparently most of the kids in Finn's class are pretty quiet/don't talk much. That may have nothing to do with Finn's teachers, but it does make me anxious that in the younger classrooms, there isn't enough emphasis on talking to the infants and toddlers to help their language development. Worrisome for the baby, I guess. It also makes me worry that Finn won't continue to be challenged, since his class is focused on learning things that he mastered quite a while ago (colors, counting to 10, etc).
All of this makes M. and I second guess our decision, of course. Did we do the right thing? But of course we need to give it more time. And I think it's natural to focus too much on the negative when there's "no going back" on our decision.
On the bright side, after a week of tears, we had a breakthrough yesterday at drop off. Finn was in a very good mood, and told M. he wanted to play with his new friends. Luckily, two of them were already at school when they walked in. Finn gave M. a hug, allowed himself to be distracted, and M. walked out with nary a tear in sight. I haven't gotten this morning's drop off report yet, but I'm hoping we've turned a corner. Finn still said this morning that he didn't want to go to his new school, but hopefully by the time he got there he was happily resigned to the idea. At pick up time, too, I've also been coming in to find him playing with other kids, rather than just running around and doing his own thing.
All of this had made me realize that the adolescent and teenage years are going to be TORTURE for me. I absolutely HATE the thought of my baby not being accepted by his peers, or feeling miserable in a new situation. I think it's especially hard for me because I had two built-in playmates my whole life, and I usually had their familiar company in most new situations. For example, I never went to the first day of school alone until I went to college. So new situations that I had to tackle on my own were very hard for me, and I was very shy. To this day, I can't "network," just introduce myself to perfect strangers and start talking. I'm sure I'm just projecting my own feelings/memories on to Finn, and I'm imagining him feeling far worse than he does. But good lord, he'd better be popular and accepted when he gets to middle school and high school or I am going to be one miserable mama.
I'm sure I'm worrying for nothing, though. I mean, who wouldn't love this kid?:
Finn's been putting up such a stink in the morning that some of the other parents have either witnessed it or overheard the teachers talking about it. When M. ran in to another parent yesterday and mentioned that Finn has been crying a lot, she said, "I heard." But by the time I come pick him up in the afternoon, he is fine, his usual goofy self. In fact, he runs all over the classroom or playground, and refuses to let me corral him out the door. I've called his teacher once or twice at around 10 am just to check in, and according to her he's always doing great by the time she gets in (at 8:30, I think). He's been napping well, and eating well. And he's really taken to potty training. He's even pooped in the potty twice! Bringing the grand total to 3 times, since he's only done it once at home. So it's not like he's having a miserable time, he's just having a hard time separating from us in the morning.
I think part of the problem is that Finn is one of the first, if not the first, kids to get in each day. Most of the parents must work pretty locally, I guess. And his teachers don't come in until 8:30, so he has to hang out in a different classroom for the first part of the morning. If there was a mess of kids playing, or the teachers that he spends most of his time with, already there during drop off, it would probably go more smoothly.
There are a few other things about the school that bother us, like the fact that there's a TV in the classroom, which we didn't know they had. It gets used on Fridays for movie day and once or twice a week for a short video like a Barney or Elmo episode. I'd rather Finn be playing outside or reading or coloring or SOMETHING. A little TV is OK, but selfishly I'd like to reserve that for when Finn's at home and I need to cook dinner. For the amount of money we're paying, the school should have enough activities planned that they don't rely on TV. Also, there's never anyone at the front desk during drop off or pick up - we've never actually met the school director. She lives in another state, and her hours each day are ridiculously abbreviated. Finally, one of the other parents (the one I mentioned above) overheard Finn chattering away and told M. that she's glad there's another child now in her daughter's class that talks a lot. Apparently most of the kids in Finn's class are pretty quiet/don't talk much. That may have nothing to do with Finn's teachers, but it does make me anxious that in the younger classrooms, there isn't enough emphasis on talking to the infants and toddlers to help their language development. Worrisome for the baby, I guess. It also makes me worry that Finn won't continue to be challenged, since his class is focused on learning things that he mastered quite a while ago (colors, counting to 10, etc).
All of this makes M. and I second guess our decision, of course. Did we do the right thing? But of course we need to give it more time. And I think it's natural to focus too much on the negative when there's "no going back" on our decision.
On the bright side, after a week of tears, we had a breakthrough yesterday at drop off. Finn was in a very good mood, and told M. he wanted to play with his new friends. Luckily, two of them were already at school when they walked in. Finn gave M. a hug, allowed himself to be distracted, and M. walked out with nary a tear in sight. I haven't gotten this morning's drop off report yet, but I'm hoping we've turned a corner. Finn still said this morning that he didn't want to go to his new school, but hopefully by the time he got there he was happily resigned to the idea. At pick up time, too, I've also been coming in to find him playing with other kids, rather than just running around and doing his own thing.
All of this had made me realize that the adolescent and teenage years are going to be TORTURE for me. I absolutely HATE the thought of my baby not being accepted by his peers, or feeling miserable in a new situation. I think it's especially hard for me because I had two built-in playmates my whole life, and I usually had their familiar company in most new situations. For example, I never went to the first day of school alone until I went to college. So new situations that I had to tackle on my own were very hard for me, and I was very shy. To this day, I can't "network," just introduce myself to perfect strangers and start talking. I'm sure I'm just projecting my own feelings/memories on to Finn, and I'm imagining him feeling far worse than he does. But good lord, he'd better be popular and accepted when he gets to middle school and high school or I am going to be one miserable mama.
I'm sure I'm worrying for nothing, though. I mean, who wouldn't love this kid?:
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Exhale
So far, so good re: the big daycare switch.
Finn's start at his new daycare was delayed a day by the snow we got on Monday. He was disappointed, actually - we drove over there on the slippery roads, because when I called they said they were open. The plan was to drop him off for an hour, go have breakfast, then pick him up again before the weather got too bad. Our timing was off, though, because the school decided to close just before we arrived. So we turned right around and got back in our car, and Finn put up a bit of a fuss. He was looking forward to playing at his "new school."
Take 2 was yesterday morning. M. and I both dropped him off, and he didn't cry at all. He was shy and reserved, but I expected that. He gave us both hugs, then we had the teacher distract him a bit while we left. I called at 10 am, and he was still doing fine - according to his teacher he was being active and having fun. He napped well, ate well, and even used the potty a couple of times. When we went to pick him up, he was excited to see us but didn't cry at all. In fact, he tried to stall and play with more toys instead of leave, so I KNOW he was having fun.
This morning was the start of what will be our normal routine, I hope. We left the house at 7 am (what we always aimed for before, but often didn't make), and M. took Finn to daycare while I took off for work. I made it in to the office just before 7:30, which is nice - I can leave a little earlier for the day than I used to. It was definitely strange to not be the one dropping Finn off, though, and even with NPR blaring the car seemed too quiet. M. managed to make his usual train despite the trek out to the school and back.
Fingers crossed that this all continues to work out!
Finn's start at his new daycare was delayed a day by the snow we got on Monday. He was disappointed, actually - we drove over there on the slippery roads, because when I called they said they were open. The plan was to drop him off for an hour, go have breakfast, then pick him up again before the weather got too bad. Our timing was off, though, because the school decided to close just before we arrived. So we turned right around and got back in our car, and Finn put up a bit of a fuss. He was looking forward to playing at his "new school."
Take 2 was yesterday morning. M. and I both dropped him off, and he didn't cry at all. He was shy and reserved, but I expected that. He gave us both hugs, then we had the teacher distract him a bit while we left. I called at 10 am, and he was still doing fine - according to his teacher he was being active and having fun. He napped well, ate well, and even used the potty a couple of times. When we went to pick him up, he was excited to see us but didn't cry at all. In fact, he tried to stall and play with more toys instead of leave, so I KNOW he was having fun.
This morning was the start of what will be our normal routine, I hope. We left the house at 7 am (what we always aimed for before, but often didn't make), and M. took Finn to daycare while I took off for work. I made it in to the office just before 7:30, which is nice - I can leave a little earlier for the day than I used to. It was definitely strange to not be the one dropping Finn off, though, and even with NPR blaring the car seemed too quiet. M. managed to make his usual train despite the trek out to the school and back.
Fingers crossed that this all continues to work out!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Trying to Leave out the Melodrama
Today is Finn's last day at his daycare, the place that has been caring for him since December 18, 2006. He was 8 weeks, 3 days old when I first dropped him off. Here is a picture taken that day:
There were surprisingly few tears that day on my part, I should note. I'm not good at public displays of emotion, and I was a little too anxious about pulling off the whole "work professional/mom/try to see my baby as much as possible" balance thing to worry much about tears. I arrived at work with mascara relatively intact.
We've been very happy with Finn's school about 95% of the time. The expectation that any childcare is absolutely perfect for your child is unrealistic, so I think we've been pretty darn lucky. And so I fear there may be significantly more tears from me today (the raging pregnancy hormones pretty much guarantee it). After all, what are the odds that we'll be just as lucky a second time?
This also means an end to my commute with Finn. I'll be making the 30 minute drive each way by myself from now on, as the new daycare is near home. No more constant chattering that identifies EVERY type of vehicle we pass, or demands that no, we're not driving, we're RACING! Oh, I shudder for the day he learns to drive, drat that movie Cars.
I have lots of good memories of our drives - Finn babbling and singing away as a baby; concentrating so hard on his car seat toy that he fell asleep with an arm in the air, reaching for it; more recently calling out "Mommy, I love you" from the backseat over and over again. Lots of bad memories, too, of course, like all the times I frantically reached back to feel for his pacifier and shove it in his mouth; the debates on whether I should just pull off the highway and breastfeed him because oh my God, THE SCREAMING, it was heart-rending; the endless rounds of Raffi on the radio.
It means an hour less time with Finn each day, which has become more like quality time and less like torture (for both of us) with each month he's gotten older. So, needless to say, I have mixed emotions.
And then there is the issue of the new school. Will Finn like it? Will he like his teachers? Will he make new friends? Will he feel comfortable and accepted? I know the answer to all those questions, at this age, is yes of course, but I also know that it will take some time. And my heart aches a bit for the confusion that Finn's going to feel over the next couple of weeks.
As we pulled off the highway today, REM's "It's the End of the World As We Know It" came on the radio. And I'm so not that melodramatic, I promise. This isn't college where one tends to imagine every depressing song was written truly, deeply about your own sad state of affairs, and songs have such MEANING. But I couldn't help thinking that Finn might think, just a little bit, come Monday, that his world is ending. At the very least, changing to something rather unrecognizable. It twisted that knife made of Mommy guilt, just a little bit.
So if you have a nice, warm, fuzzy story about how your young child changed schools/daycares/nannies and quickly adjusted, please share. It will cheer me up.
On an entirely different note, I set up a little online baby pool for friends and family to guess when Finn's brother or sister is going to be born, as well as the other pertinent stats (gender, weight, length, etc). Check out the ExpectNet.com box on the righthand sidebar for a link, and place your own guess if you'd like. While there will be no cash winnings for the closest guess, I can at least guarantee bragging rights and an announcement of the winner on this blog. So, at least to the 8 or so people that read this, you will be famous!
There were surprisingly few tears that day on my part, I should note. I'm not good at public displays of emotion, and I was a little too anxious about pulling off the whole "work professional/mom/try to see my baby as much as possible" balance thing to worry much about tears. I arrived at work with mascara relatively intact.
We've been very happy with Finn's school about 95% of the time. The expectation that any childcare is absolutely perfect for your child is unrealistic, so I think we've been pretty darn lucky. And so I fear there may be significantly more tears from me today (the raging pregnancy hormones pretty much guarantee it). After all, what are the odds that we'll be just as lucky a second time?
This also means an end to my commute with Finn. I'll be making the 30 minute drive each way by myself from now on, as the new daycare is near home. No more constant chattering that identifies EVERY type of vehicle we pass, or demands that no, we're not driving, we're RACING! Oh, I shudder for the day he learns to drive, drat that movie Cars.
I have lots of good memories of our drives - Finn babbling and singing away as a baby; concentrating so hard on his car seat toy that he fell asleep with an arm in the air, reaching for it; more recently calling out "Mommy, I love you" from the backseat over and over again. Lots of bad memories, too, of course, like all the times I frantically reached back to feel for his pacifier and shove it in his mouth; the debates on whether I should just pull off the highway and breastfeed him because oh my God, THE SCREAMING, it was heart-rending; the endless rounds of Raffi on the radio.
It means an hour less time with Finn each day, which has become more like quality time and less like torture (for both of us) with each month he's gotten older. So, needless to say, I have mixed emotions.
And then there is the issue of the new school. Will Finn like it? Will he like his teachers? Will he make new friends? Will he feel comfortable and accepted? I know the answer to all those questions, at this age, is yes of course, but I also know that it will take some time. And my heart aches a bit for the confusion that Finn's going to feel over the next couple of weeks.
As we pulled off the highway today, REM's "It's the End of the World As We Know It" came on the radio. And I'm so not that melodramatic, I promise. This isn't college where one tends to imagine every depressing song was written truly, deeply about your own sad state of affairs, and songs have such MEANING. But I couldn't help thinking that Finn might think, just a little bit, come Monday, that his world is ending. At the very least, changing to something rather unrecognizable. It twisted that knife made of Mommy guilt, just a little bit.
So if you have a nice, warm, fuzzy story about how your young child changed schools/daycares/nannies and quickly adjusted, please share. It will cheer me up.
On an entirely different note, I set up a little online baby pool for friends and family to guess when Finn's brother or sister is going to be born, as well as the other pertinent stats (gender, weight, length, etc). Check out the ExpectNet.com box on the righthand sidebar for a link, and place your own guess if you'd like. While there will be no cash winnings for the closest guess, I can at least guarantee bragging rights and an announcement of the winner on this blog. So, at least to the 8 or so people that read this, you will be famous!
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