Minutiae

Yesterday I left for work early - I had an all-day meeting and needed to make sure I wasn't late. M. dropped the kids off, and since I was up early, he and the kids were up and ready early, too. He dropped them off right around 7 am. My meeting, which was supposed to end by 4:30, was still going strong when I snuck out the door at 5:20 in order to make it to school by its 6:00 p.m. closing time. I barely made it. This meant the kids were at daycare for just about 11 hours yesterday.

In an effort to distract the kids from our abbreviated evening, I got them Burger King for dinner. Kind of like bribery, but they didn't know why I was bribing them.

Today I picked the kids up on the early side, to make up for the extra long day at daycare yesterday. I offered to play with the kids before starting dinner, since it was still pretty early - spend some unrushed, quality time together that we don't usually get. They decided to watch TV instead.

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It drives me nuts that as soon as I get home each night with the kids, I am bombarded with demands. Help me get my coat/shoes off (Lucy, who is actually perfectly capable of doing those tasks herself), turn on the TV (both kids), put on a different show (usually Finn), get me a snack (both kids), feed me (cat, accompanied by annoying ankle-rubbing and other trip-causing behavior), cook dinner STAT (me/the "schedule"), make something healthy (also me), make soemthing kid-friendly (kids again), get me another snack (kids, accompanied by the inevitable whining when I say no), start emptying the dishwasher so M. doesn't have to do it later (M.), clean as I go (just nice to do, and I don't always do it, as I'm not very nice). All this happens in the roughly 45 minutes I have before M. gets home from work.

I wish that I could be left alone to cook [food I like] in peace.

Also, I need more "pleases" in my life.

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My Weight Watchers weigh-in for the week is tomorrow morning. I ate tacos for dinner tonight. Even though I did use the 40% less sodium seasoning, this was probably not a smart dinner choice.
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There are 5 loads of laundry sitting in a mountain on the floor of my basement, waiting to be folded.

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Last Sunday I baked all afternoon with Finn. First we made Buttermilk Oatmeal muffins, mostly so I could use up the rest of the container of buttermilk I had in my fridge. To finish off the milk, I had to make a double batch - 36 muffins. I figured this was OK, as I could give them to the kids each morning as a pre-school snack, and also freeze some. Finn and Lucy ate one bite each, and declared they don't like them.

*I* like them, and M. likes them. However, I hadn't planned on eating 34 of them.

We also made zucchini cookies, as Finn was curious how you could make a cookie with a vegetable. It took us an ungodly amount of time to shred up the zucchini with the brand new food mill my mom gave me for Christmas. Should have gone low-tech and used a shredder, I guess, but at least it was a good upper body workout.

The kids *kind of* like the cookies, but still prefer other dessert foods.

There are far too many delicious baked goods in this house for my liking (and my diet's existence), and too few people to eat them.

I wish I could eat anything I wanted to, and still be healthy.


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I have been good about getting back on track with exercise, jogging three times this week. I have not been so good about not eating all the things.

This is directly related to the plethora of baked goods in my house. And also the container of Two-Bite Brownies that sustained me throughout my all-day meeting yesterday. Two-Bite Brownies are a weakness of mine. There's just something about the slightly crispy outer layer, and gooey soft inner layer, that makes my soul happy. But not my scale, of course.

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Lucy is completely potty trained, even at night. This family? Is done with diapers. In Memoriam: October 2006 - January 2012. They lived a short (yet too long), filled (if not exactly fulfilling) life. May they rest in peace.

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Lucy sometimes hisses at us. She loves chapstick, princesses, Tinker Bell, Hello Kitty, Luke Skywalker, Annakin Skywalker, and Darth Vader. She does not like Emperor Palpatine. She has been getting in trouble for hitting at school lately. She wears 3T, will be 3 years old in just a few months. She looks adorable in a pony tail, and despises having her hair brushed. Her favorite song right now is "Moonshadow" by Cat Stevens. She won't wear a hat or mittens most days, and is a pretty picky eater. Her favorite food at the moment is macaroni and cheese, or so she claims - she occasionally goes rogue and turns her nose up at it. Her favorite TV show is Super Why. She still sleeps in a crib. She likes to tell her father that he's handsome, but she still asks for me to be the one to put her to bed most nights (and brush her teeth, and get her out of bed, and take her to the bathroom...).
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Finn has also been getting in trouble at school for hitting lately. We really know how to raise them, eh? He has now watched all 6 of the Star Wars movies, and is officially obsessed. He is capable of asking 3,472 questions about Star Wars on any given day. He plays with Star Wars toys, reads Star Wars books, and likely dreams about Star Wars. He is starting to get the hang of reading simple words, and whips through his math homework with little to no help. He is sweet and sensitive, always trying to make sure that the people he loves don't feel bad. He wants to win at games, but doesn't want us to lose, at least not too badly. He is taking swim lessons right now. His favorite food is still pizza, and his favorite TV show is The Wild Kratts. He whines A LOT (seriously, when does that end??). He is stubborn and frustrating and funny and loving. He still gives us spontaneous hugs and kisses. One of his latest tics involves a droning, constant humming while he's zoned out, which is about as annoying as it sounds. He now sleeps until at least 7 am on the weekends, and is damn hard to get out of bed on the weekdays.

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That's life, lately. Just wanted to get something down, to get back to writing something, ANYTHING, here. To keep a record of life, for the days to come when we look back and try to remember how it all was.

It's better than it sounds, though. Writing out the details, it can seem miserable. On a day-to-day basis, life can BE miserable. But over all, we are fortunate and happy and decidedly NOT miserable. These kids, they are work. They are frustration in a short package. But they bring so much to our lives, and I know it's all worth it. These two little beings, that turn their noses up at my cooking and beat the crap out of each other, they are awesome. I recognize it every day, and make mental note of it. I'm just not that good at capturing it here, to share with all of you (and my future, memory-addled self). I need to get better at that, at putting down here all the good details. I hope I do.

And Then the Angels Sang

Yesterday we took Finn to the pediatrician finally to discuss the tic behavior he has been displaying the last few months. We waited first to get some video footage to show the doctor (hopefully you understand that I'd prefer not to upload it here), and then to find a time where M. and I could both be home for the appointment - it's been a busy time for us work-wise lately!

I actually considered cancelling the appointment, because Finn has not been doing the tic (ticking? I'm not sure what verb to use here) very much at all lately. But we went anyway, and I am really glad we did. It ended up being a very productive appointment.

When Finn's name was called to go back to an exam room, I actually left him with M. and went back by myself with our laptop, so that I could talk to the doctor first and show her the videos. We told Finn that he was at the doctor's office for a check up - I don't want to make a big deal about the tics in front of Finn, or to make him feel like there is something "wrong" with him - and I really didn't like the idea of talking about Finn in detail while he was sitting right there. So I went alone, and it really was for the best, though unfortunately it meant that M. didn't get to hear the discussion with the doctor.

I described the behaviors to her to refresh her memory (we had discussed it briefly once before during an appointment for Lucy), and she asked me a few questions: Is there a history of Tourette's Syndrome in the family? (not that I'm aware of, but some minor repetitive motion/muscle twitching in a couple of people) Is Finn anxious, depressed, sad? (sometimes anxious/hard on himself, but happy) Does he sleep well? (doesn't nap anymore AT ALL, but does sleep well at night) Etc.

Then I showed her two videos, and she found them very helpful and interesting. She agreed that the videos showed a motor tic - so we are not dealing with seizures, thank goodness. And she also said that the annoying noise he made for a while back in December was a vocal tic. The rest of the conversation was as I expected, given the reading I had done on this kind of thing already. She wanted to test his blood for Strep antibodies, because Strep infection can cause/exacerbate tics and other behaviors (called PANDAS, an acronym that is too long to define). I suspect that his test will be negative, though. And then she told me that she would refer us to a neurologist if this got to the point where treatment is needed (for the tics, not Strep - that is just treated by antibiotics). Typically treatment is only used in cases where tics interfere with a child's/person's life, because the medication used is similar/the same as how they treat ADHD - it contains a sedative. Not ideal. But a neurologist would be the one to see to find out all our options.

I'm hoping we never get to that point. Right now, these tics come and go - this, too, is very typical. And so far, they haven't interfered in Finn's life much at all. I'm not even sure the other kids at daycare ever noticed the two he's had so far, so beyond creating two worried/anxious parents, the effect on Finn's life has been negligible. The way forward will most likely simply be - nothing. We will do nothing. But I am so, so glad that we brought this to the doctor. She made several notes in his chart, so our concerns have been documented, should it ever become important in the future. And though I know this is selfish and not the point AT ALL, I feel validated and empowered as a parent, because I had REASONABLE concerns (rather than the "panic over nothing" I often feel I have when parenting and illness are combined) and I handled them sensitively and well with the doctor. Better yet, as far as Finn is aware, he is a perfectly healthy child (which he IS) who was a total rock star when his blood was drawn. Which he proudly described to his friends when he got back to school after the appointment.

And then, after an intense and exhausting-though-relatively-brief doctor's appointment, and the resulting attempt to cram 8+ hours of work into a 6 hour work day, my reward came:

It's so shiny! And clean! And shiny!

Look at all the space we have!

This is almost all the food that was cramming our old refrigerator (we did throw out a few questionable items rather than subject them to further sitting-and-rotting in the new fridge), and there is much, much room for more. Like, whole empty shelves room for more! I'm in love.

Many Long Things

Just so you know, this was originally titled "A Few Quick Things," and then "A Few Quick-ish Things", until it became apparent that neither title would do.

1. I'm dubbing this winter The Winter of Illness. I thought last year was bad, but if it was, then I can't think of a suitable adjective for this one. Maybe ghastly? Horrific? Appalling? Or the like. I have calculated that since December 27th, I have spent 15 days feeling anywhere from crappy to on-the-verge-of-death. And the other 12 days feeling, at the very least, less-than-perfect. I have also had a cough for every single one of those days. Lucy, my partner in (and source of) Illness, has been at it since December 22nd, with maybe a 1-week period of good health. I expect her to get sick given the amount of non-food objects she insists on putting in her mouth, but good lord, not quite this often. And I feel betrayed by the same immune system I used to brag about.

2. While at the doctor's office with Lucy this past week, I took the opportunity to ask the doctor her opinion on what I should do about Finn and his tic (whether she thought it sounded concerning, whether I should bring him in). She told me that she has a scale - Interested, Concerned, Worried, Frightened. From what I had told her, she put this on the "Interested" side of the scale, which was reassuring. But she did think that his behavior should be checked out to rule out a couple of things that are either fixable (e.g. strep infection - did you know some strains can cause tics?) or more concerning (e.g. seizures). She recommended that we make an appointment with her once we have some video footage of what he's been doing, so Finn has unwittingly found himself as the star of several random home movies lately. I think we have some decent examples, so we'll likely be taking him in shortly just to make sure all is well.

3. Today stretched out long, cold and exhausting in front of us this morning. I despaired of doing anything other than chasing after Lucy every time she tried to kill herself in some daredevil feat and arguing with Finn about how much TV he was allowed to watch. We had no plans, and with 20 degree weather outside, not much hope of making any that allowed us to escape the confines of our living room. BUT, inspiration struck, and I convinced M. that I should take Finn to the movies while Lucy napped so that M. could catch up on some work. I really made out on that deal, because not only did Finn and I see a cute/fun movie (Tangled), Lucy woke up after only about half an hour, and M. had to wrangle and distract her by himself most of the time we were gone. Finn and I had a great time, though, so yay for us?

4. Today's eventual good mood carried over into dinner time, for which we decided to go out. We went to a favorite local pizza place that is kid-friendly (and the pizza is good!). The kids were, for once, perfect - well-behaved, fun, ate their food, were patient when their food wasn't delivered with ours - we really couldn't have asked for better from them. If only that could happen every time (or even a quarter of the times? please?) we went out!

5. Re: food not arriving on time - our waiter was quite incompetent, though well meaning. Of all of our orders, he only managed to get M.'s correct - a meat-laden pizza with the moniker "the Nelson Eddie", for whatever reason. My pizza had the correct toppings, but was a medium size instead of an individual size. And he forgot the kid's medium cheese pizza completely. And yet somehow, I was the one who felt bad and wanted to make light of it. Why is that? I gave him the right order, it appears he wrote it down in his little waitering-notebook correctly (since he referred to it once I mentioned that hey, we're missing a pizza, and comprehension dawned. I saw it.), and he just simply wasn't able to correctly convey it to the cooks. It was his fault, but I tried to make HIM feel better. Does everyone feel that way, or is it just because my subconscious acutely remembers my time as a waitress and makes me feel sympathy? I'm sure his earnestness worked in his favor, too, though - if he had been the least bit jerk-like I probably would have been a bit snippier. Or made M. be the heavy, since I don't actually do confrontational well.

6. Please, please tell me. What are some things you like to do with your kids in the winter that let you leave your house and don't necessarily involve play dates? We desperately need some suggestions so that we don't go crazy before spring gets here. We managed OK today, but I fear for our sanity next weekend.

7. I spent two days in D.C. for a meeting this past week (despite feeling Ill). I commuted in each day on the Metro. And I noticed that no matter how fast I walked, most people still seemed to walk faster. Yes, I wore heels, which definitely gives the men, and some women, an advantage. But there were plenty of women in heels with Amazon-like walking skills. Are my legs that short? Or am I just a slow walker? I FELT like I was walking SO FAST. Also, confession: I went the wrong way on the Metro once. I realized it right away and only went one stop out of my way, but oh, embarrassing! I assumed I was going up the right stairwell to change lines, and didn't actually CHECK, so I suppose that just adds to the body of evidence for the whole "ass-u-me" argument. I never told M., I'm guessing I'm letting myself in for some teasing once he reads this.

8. Lucy is very definitely on the cusp of TWO. Her behavior and mannerisms speak volumes to that. She had at least 4 time outs today. Her naughty-ness of choice (other than not listening to a single thing we say, running away from us whenever possible, and crying LOUDLY) is hitting. Usually the face. Good thing she is still adorable and smart and all that other mitigating stuff.

9. Lucy and the cat excepting, the whole family may need to be signed up for Angry Birds Anonymous. That sh*t is addictive! In fact, I will end here so that I may play a few rounds in piece without a 4-year-old trying to wrestle my (MY) iPod out of my hands. I have heard something about a game called Plants vs. Zombies but know nothing other than the name. Is it just as good or better? What are some other iPod games that you like for you, for your preschooler, or for your toddler? I don't really know where to begin looking for some of these things, especially the toddler-oriented games/apps.

So, you all have your homework regarding numbers 6 and 9, thanks much!

The Kind of Rambling Post You Might Expect from Someone Who Is Mostly Just Killing Time While Her Husband Watches the Packers Game

To all who commented or e-mailed me with support, suggestions or stories to share on my last post - thank you! That's exactly why I wrote it, and your words mean a lot to me. M. and I are still thinking about what we will do - I know I will bring it up with Finn's pediatrician, just not sure when. For today, we are choosing to just keep an eye on him and wait, but we are taking it day by day.

On to more uplifting or at least mundane subjects. Yesterday Finn went ice skating for the first time with his daycare class. We were alerted to the field trip on fairly short notice, so unfortunately neither M. nor I could take time off of work to chaperone. But I have to think it was hysterical and fun - 14 or 15 kids wobbling around in little skates and helmets, pushing buckets around on the ice in an effort to stay upright. I was a bit hesitant - it's a lot of kids, and some of the teachers that went on the trip had never been ice skating before themselves. I pictured lots of crying, bumps, bruises and chaos. But apparently all the kids had a blast, even Finn, who was concerned ahead of time that he would fall a lot. He did fall, and he complained that he wasn't good at skating (at some point, need to have a blog post or two to seek advice on helping kids who are prone to low self esteem - why would he even think he SHOULD be good at ice skating, if he's never done it before? He sets unrealistic expectations for himself), but admitted that it was fun. Even the falling.

By the way, a note on the classroom door the night before the field trip indicated that parents could bring in helmets for their kids if they wanted to. M. and I vacillated, unsure of the right answer. Did he really need one? Would it be overprotective of us? Don't kids usually learn to ice skate without helmets? Is this just one more symptom of the madness that is parents trying to keep their kids in protective bubbles forever? Or would I doom him to concussion? I even considered taking to Facebook to put out a little poll since I am apparently incapable of making parenting decisions without doing some sort of research. But I did not, and we decided that we did not need to bring in a helmet for Finn. After all, he's only about 3 feet from the ice, and he was not going to be speed skating - how much damage could he really do to his noggin? Then I found out afterward that the ice rink had all the kids wear helmets anyway. And even though I'm very, very far from being a germaphobe, this skeeved me out because frankly, lice is gross. And a pain to get rid of. So in hindsight, I should have just brought in the damn helmet after all.

So that was Friday. Today, Lucy woke up with yet ANOTHER illness, which I suppose we can expect to see run through the family. She was free of sickness for about one week. Now she has a fever, a runny nose, and is currently coughing juicy coughs over the monitor. I have a feeling there may be a dose of antihistamines in her future tonight. And likely some missed work for me or M. (pretty sure it's my turn) next week. Or maybe by some miracle she'll be fever-free by Monday morning? A girl can hope.

Finn opted to spend the entire day in pajamas, and refused to let us go out and do anything. Well, M. did run a couple of errands, and picked up Thai food for dinner (and hey! The kids ate some chicken satay! Grown-up, non-processed food! It was a January miracle). And I walked about 10 yards outside of our house to get the mail. But other than that, no one left the house, and we did nothing productive AT ALL. Aside from some squabbles about too much TV watching, it was actually pretty relaxing. I took a nap. I think it's the longest amount of time Finn has ever spent in the same pair of pajamas (he's still wearing them now, which is probably kind of gross, but hey, less laundry, right?). They are footie PJs, so I have to think his feet feel pretty disgusting, but if he's not complaining, I certainly won't!

And now for a few photos and videos to tide over the extended family.

Here, Finn explains a drawing he made of the race car Chick from the Cars movie:



And here is a photo of the artist posing with his work of art, as well as a close up of the drawing. I helped a little with the green coloring, but everything else was all Finn - pretty good for a 4-year-old (I think!).




A cute faced Lucy



And Finn hamming it up with a funny face



Finally, a video of Lucy. Most of the ones I capture of her either involve her running away from the camera, or telling me "No pictures!" over and over again. Here she demonstrates a hint of her singing prowess - she loves to sing, especially at bedtime, where she accompanies whichever parent sings to her that night. It's hysterical, and also I am amazed by how many lyrics she knows. This performance is just small snippets, and you may want to turn the volume up when you watch it as I was sitting kind of far away from her when I filmed it.